Starting two things once again

Attempting to do two things that have eluded me for quite some time. Lose weight and write and complete something substantial (book/movie). I finished writing a children's book. I now need to find an artist for the illustrations. But his is not what I mean by completing a book or movie. As far as the weight loss I am going to try miracle weight loss pills

With exercise.

The movie or book will begin with me training or teaching myself how to write correctly. This may take a while due to the fact that most people go to school for years to learn how to write. 

My inspiration fellow fat man Kevin Smith.  I read "Tough Shit". His life advice book that has sparked something in me. We'll see what happens hopefully I'll stick with both of these things till the bitter end. 

I am hoping that you will be my daily testimonial throughout my trials and tribulations. 

Movie reveiw gone bad!!!

I am watching a terrible movie right now with Dwight from the office. It's called wheelmen. Honestly one of the worst movies ever made. I think shane from weeds is in the movie but very young. It must have been made a while ago. I am telling you this because I have been watching some really bad movies and wanted to share that with you.

These movies are so bad they have no redeeming qualities. I mean I am getting stupider for having watching these films. What's wrong with me. I think its because I have seen too many movies. but there are so many bad movies on demand (for free I'm too cheap to buy the movies....

Honestly trying to write when you have nothing to write about is when shit like this happens. I have some serious writer's block when it comes to this blog. I was writing alot but I want to write about shit that is funny or cool or at least interesting sorry for wasting your time with the movie crap. That movie is really bad though i think I am going to try to find some other crap movie.

Keep your fingers crossed on the fact that I get passed this mountain of a block. Thanks and hope to entertain you soon.

Share with me The Good Stuff Please!

You know something? I think I have a bad case of chronic writer's block. Even though I'm not technically a writer, can I have writer's block. I mean look I'm sitting here writing about my problems on this blog. I have run out of things to write about on this blog. I have even run out of ideas of what to post on my status updates for facebook and twitter. Ha all this social media crap.

I may go long periods of time without updating my statuses or writing in this blog but I think it is because I want what I write to have meaning and substance, kinda like an All the Way New York System Hot Dog or Coney Island dog. What ever! I am only writing about this because a blog is like a journal. Well for me it is anyways. So I'm gonna write about my problems here because I hate it when people post their problems on facebook.

I mean I see a lot of posts about peoples shitty day at work or their messed up medical problems. Who wants to read about that stuff. Post good stuff. Post interesting stuff. I don't really wanna read that your son threw up on you and your daughter pissed on the sofa. Well maybe that's funny for me to read but I hope you get my drift. I just don't want to read that you went to the doctors and your taking 9 billion perscription meds and they still don't know what the fuck is wrong with you. And please don't post that you have laundry to do and dishes. Let me know what your feeling or post something funny that happened to you or let me know about the good things in your life. Don't drag me down with your shit because my life sucks already because I'm on line looking for positive stuff that might be happening to other people.

My life doesn't really suck, but I want to hear or read about the good stuff. Now I know I have been eluded to crappy stuff about my life on these social media sites but I don't get into specifics and I only put it out there to see what peoples opinions are. I would never get into specifics about a situation on facebook or twitter.

As I write this I wonder if it is a cry for help from some people? Is it a way for them to get out there frustrations without having to interact with people face to face? Is it so they can get peoples opinions without actually having to deal with the people? I'm not sure. I think I'm kinda rambling on about this but as I quote Peter Griffen, "it really grinds my gears!"

New Lay Out

I recently changed the look of my blog. It's on fire. I'm hoping the new layout will inspire me to write more on it. I honestly don't do entries just to have entries. I want to write about things that are meaningful or make me laugh or that can give information to people. Now I've said this before but I am going to make an effort to write more.

Now to talk about my layout. It's flames! It's on fire. Is this cool? Do you like it? Do you think it's just my lame way of making this whole blogging thing cool? Be honest.

If this is your first time checking out my blog please feel free to look at my previous posts I think there is some really good shit in there and as always if I offend you in anyway please don't take it personal. I write what I think and swears are what I think. I'm a good person...No really i am. Don't judge me as a person from my blog. I do work with kids and I believe I'm a positive rolemodel. This blog isn't for kids.

the grossest post I've ever done!

I think bathroom humor is some of the funniest stuff in the world. It may be because my sense of humor is very immature and asinine but theirs nothing better than a good fart, fart joke, shit joke or any other bathroom related things that are funny. Honestly, had a buddy who's answering machine said this, "Can't come to the phone right now cause I'm taking a shit!" That was freaking hilarious.

Speaking of bathrooms...I think that when houses or buildings are built that bathrooms are the last things planned for. Seriously, I've have been in some messed up bathrooms before and I will continue to find myself going to the bathroom in many places cause when I gotta go I gotta go. Many of you reading this...listen to me like anybody reads this anymore!...are probably wondering why is he writing about this. Well honestly I have noticed in my bathroom travels that bathrooms are not always well though out.

Like when Carla and I first lived together in N. Attleboro. Our bathroom in our apartment didn't have a sink in it. Luckily, if you wanna look at it that way, the kitchen sink was right outside the door of the bathroom. I think, "Gross!" when I look back on it but you gotta do what you gotta do to survive in this world and this is what this entry is about. Doo Doo! and the places you go doo doo. Plus the space where the toilet was located in that apartment was like a foot and a half wide. After a long session it was hard for a big guy like me to pull himself out of a tight spot like that. Luckily if I built up a sweat the shower was right next to the toilet. Again there was hardly any room for the mirror in this bathroom.

Moving on...I'm pretty satisfied with my current bathroom. So let's talk about public restrooms. I find it funny that some people don't like to go to the bathroom in public. I relish it. I hate to repeat myself but when you gotta go you gotta go. I wonder if there is a way to shorten that statement. in text version it would be this, "when u gg u gg" looks like the sounds I make when on the toilet. I know gross but I ain't holding anything back in 2010 so if you don't like it oh well then. Where was I oh yeah public restrooms. So as I have stated I am a big guy and I don't like the regular stalls for when I gotta go so I defer to the handicap stall. Now some may say that that is an awful thing for me to do but honestly I think Obesity can be a handicap to some. Plus it is way more comfortable in those stalls you can really stretch out.

Plus they have railings and I know they are there to give assistance to a person so they can get in and out of their chairs but for a guy who doesn't not need a chair they make great hand holds for when it's going to be a bumpy ride. Oh man I think I just grossed myself out with that one. But I have one complaint with the handicap stall the toilet paper dispenser is usually under the hand rail and it is way to low for me. I can't imagine a person who is disabled reaching so low for the paper. It sucks and I wanna start a movement but I will save that for another day.

Next topic...Port-O-Johns... I love em when their clean and hate when their dirty like most people. But when "u gg u gg" I was working construction for a year when I was younger and the job site I was working at had only 3 portopots as I call them...and I looked in all three of these things and they were all atrocious. So I chose the lesser of the 3 evils. The one that I chose was clean all around the inside. What was disgusting is where the doodoo and peepee go was filled up so much that the blue water and feces and urine were up to the brim. If I had sat on it without doing anything i probably would have touched frozen shit and piss and whatever the blue water is called with my whole undercarriage. Oh yeah and it was below zero outside so I needed to shit and shit fast cause I was gonna blow and I needed to do something quick. I took the box of seat covers, which was empty, out of it's holder and stuck it into the hole where the bad stuff goes and pushed it down with my foot. Honestly the grossest thing I have ever done. yet if I hadn't done anything and just sat down....well lets just say I did what was best. I still have nightmares.

Well I'm kinda ending this abruptly but I am tired, on an overnight at work and I need to defecate really badly as I type this. I mean I am touching cloth. LMAO!!!! Touching cloth! I think that is the funniest saying. Well I may write more on this subject later we'll see how things COME OUT! Oh man that's just crass. Well bye for now hope you continue reading.

I'm BAAAAAAAAAACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well as the title states, I'm back. Atleast I hope be writing more. The title came to me because it's the night before Halloween. My son is gonna be a knight and a damn cute one at that. I realize that these times are precious and we need to cherrish them. I have recently been connecting with friends from my past and can say it's a wonderful thing. I hope to continue the reconnecting. I know it will be tough to reconnect but I know I have to. I definitely am procrastinating with some people and know I will regret that later on but procrastination should have been my middle name.

This is a short post just to say that I will be back and will try to write more often.

hope you're all still with my my followers. all 4 of you.

Ben

Just a short update.

It's been a while since my last entry...so I'm sorry for the lack of entries...but in all truth that's me...I haven't been moved to write about anything lately...and even now I am just writing this entry because I haven't written in a while. My reasons for not writing lately are 1) Very busy not a lot of time, 2) at work I have less computer time on my everyday shift (we're down a staff member, which makes me work harder damn it), 3) I want to write things with substinance and meaning...ah what am I saying...I just want to write stuff that's funny or interesting, 4) I'd rather not sit infront of a computer when I do have free time.



So I will give an update to my followers of what's been going on since my last entry. Well have had some real fun with my family lately. I now own a kilt. I wore it for the first time and my son wore his kilt for the first time too. It was awesome. I have been to a couple of baseball games already this year. One I watched a preseason baseball game with the dreaded Red Sox and the NY Mets. I also went to see the Yankees beat the Phillies in MLB interleague play. Both of these games were firsts for me. I had never been to preseason game or an interleague game both were awesome. I am also scheduled to take my son (Cody) to his first baseball game ever, the Yankees will be facing the Tigers for this game and we will be going with my Dad who I have never been to a game with him either. I'm not gonna lie, I'm very excited. My wife also got me tickets to see the Yankees vs. the Red Sox for our anniversary can't wait for that one. Maybe we can win that one. Since currently the Red Sox own our ASSES in head to head play!



So far this summer has been filled with other family fun...this weekend was hopefully just the beginning...my dad had a party for my uncle Charlie (he shares a birthday with my son)...it was good to see a lot of my aunts and uncles on my dad's side. I also went to a party at my cousins' house where me and my Dad went undefeated in Horseshoes. I'll be honest we played one game, won that game, and decided not to play again so that we would be undefeated. And then on Sunday it was my son's birthday party that went by in a flash I'm not even sure of what anyone gave to him for his b-day.

I am hoping the rest of the summer is as fun as the past couple of weeks have been.

What makes 100%

How to give more than 100%

My buddy Josh got this from Derek the Tattoo Artist I never met Derek but this is some cool shit!

What makes 100%?

Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to
those meetings where someone wants over 100%. How about achieving 103%? Here's a little math that might prove helpful.

+What makes life 100%?

If: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

is represented as: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.

Then: H A R D W O R K 8 1 18 4 23 15 18 11 = 98%

K N O W L E D G E 11 14 15 23 12 5 4 7 5 = 96%

But, A T T I T U D E 1 20 20 9 20 21 4 5 = 100%

And, B U L L S H I T 2 21 12 12 19 8 9 20 = 103%

So, it stands to reason that hard work and knowledge will get you close

attitude will get you there,

but bullshit will put you over the top.

And look how far ass kissing will take you.

A S S K I S S I N G 1 19 19 11 9 19 19 9 14 7 = 118%

NEVER THOUGHT ABOUT IT LIKE THAT BEFORE, HUH?

Ben says, "I haven't checked the math yet but this is pretty crazy"

What a Game!!!!!!!!!

My eyes snapped open. I jumped out of the unfamiliar bed. Got dressed and looked at the time. It was 6:00am and I wasn't starting my trip for like another two hours. I finished getting ready and went out to the living room in Daryl and Sarah's house. Yes...I am 32 years old and I still have sleepovers at my friends house. But it was for a good reason. Daryl and I (Both Yankee fans) were driving down to the Bronx to see the brandy new Yankee Stadium. More on that later. As I got to the living room I wondered what was on TV. As I am not familiar with Comcast I went directly to their on demand menu and found the movie Phantasm II. Which I have never seen. I know what it is basically about but I have never seen any of the movies by that name....I think they made like four of them. I must not have been in the mood to watch it because about a half hour in I changed it to John Tucker must die. Which is probably in the categories of a teenie bopper movie but it is actually a pretty good movie.

While watching that movie it took me till about 8:00am when I heard my friend Daryl moving around on the upper floor of his house. (Damn, so far this blog entry is pretty boring...hopefully it gets better) He came downstairs we checked the weather down in New York...which was a perfect 69 degrees and partly cloudy. Around 8:20 we hopped in his truck and headed to a local coffee shop. I got my usual Large Caramel Ice Coffee XX and a couple of donuts and an orange juice. We finally began our journey. We tried a new route to avoid traffic the conversation was awesome we talked about the Yankees of course and some current events. I'm not so good with current events talk....those of you who know me know that I would rather watch a movie then the news....the news is just so depressing. I am working on it though.

When we got to the stadium we parked in an underground parking garage walked into a bar and had a beer a burger and some fries. I had been in this bar before it is a combo of a bar/diner/bowling alley. It's actually pretty cool. Now I'm not sure on the educate but there was a man in the bathroom who works there and in movies these guys usually give you soap or cologne and other stuff. All this guy did was hand me a paper towel after I washed my hands I didn't tip. I don't think he did enough to deserve a tip. Hope I didn't offend him. We had a burger and a beer and then we went to some shops to look for souvenirs. I found some stuff that I wanted to buy for Cody but I figured he would be coming to Yankee Stadium in a couple of months anyways so me and Carla can buy him something then. This also saves me from getting in trouble for spending too much.

After that Daryl and I entered the new Yankee Stadium. It was amazing...it was really close to a religious experience for me. I think for him too although I don't want to speak for him. It is awesome you can finally walk around the entire stadium from the inside. I know most stadiums are like that but old Yankee Stadium was not. This place was incredible. You could get anything from sausages to sushi to eat. The beer stands were plentiful and the place was so freaking clean and roomy. We walked around and looked at everything. The Yankees really did it right. I had recently been to the new Citi Field(the home of the NY Mets) and it doesn't' compare to the new Yankee Stadium. I even got to walk into the new Monument Park (for free) something I never got to do at the old stadium. Mariano Rivera waved to me from the Field when I was in Monument Park. It was so cool...somebody stop me before I gush like a little girl.

From there we went to our seats looked out onto the field and sat in silence for a bit. It was gorgeous. I was proud to be a Yankee Fan. After a bit we walked around again to get a cup of beer. We got souvenir cups for $10. We got back to the seats and in 15 minutes the game began. If I remember right in the first inning (it might have been the 2nd) Phillies went up 1 to nothing. But in the bottom of the inning the Yankees came back with a run to tie it up. In about the 3rd or 4th a rookie, first game ever played, hits a 3run shot to left field. He hit his first major league homer at Yankee stadium and come to find out his father hit his last career home run in the old Yankee Stadium in 1982. That's a pretty cool fun fact. A bit later the Captain Derek Jeter slammed the ball into the left field seats to make the score 4 to 2 Phillies. About this time was when a really dumb Phillies fan and a really dumb Yankees Fan began to argue from about 30 feet and 4 rows away. Usually I would love the banter but these to scholars were not creative at all. It was like watching two 5 year olds arguing about which tv show was better Blues clues or Sesame Street. I heard such words as Asshole, Fag, Herpes face, and multiple F bombs. As the game went on the yelling got louder and more people got involved. Soon the Phillies fans were asked to leave and they had a Yankees fan with them too. This was a little girl who was the biggest problem of all she was yelling and began pushing the cop away from her after the cop gave her multiple warnings. It definitely was entertaining.

In the bottom of the ninth it wasn't looking very good. We were still down by 2 runs and I wasn't feeling optimistic. I think this is how it happened my mind is foggy. Johnny Damon Walked. Then Mark Teixiera made an out. and up came captain not so clutch A-Rod. He ripped a 2 run blast to Right field. Ok Ok the supposed wind tunnel took A-Rod's pop fly into the seats. Which ever it was the game was now tied at 4 runs a piece. Next up was Robinson Cano somehow he got on base I can't remember. Then he stole second base and Melky Cabrera hit the game winning walk off single to center field. It was amazing. I haven't' yelled so loud in a long time. It was pandemonium.

All in all it was a great day. The Yankees won and the Mets beat the Red Sox.

Ropes Course the memories and job posting all in one!

I haven't written in a while, and to my readers I apologize. I also feel that I need something to write about that has substance and meaning. HA HA HA. I guess I haven't been reading my own material. Those of you that have known me for a while...out of my 3 readers, know that I work part time for the YMCA in North Attleboro as a Ropes Course Facilitator. I have been doing this job for approximately 14 years. Now, believe me I don't work there for the money, I work there because I believe in what I do there. I am going to try and explain what it is I do there.



Some people may think that I just hang around in the trees and goof around all day. Hontestly that's only about 3/4 of what I do. This program is a program for participants of all ages to learn how to work as members of a successful team. The main purpose is to teach the eight elements that make up team work.



They are Common Goal, Everyone Involved, Positive Environment, Trust, Clear and Defined Roles, Effective Communication, Descisions: Input and Consesus, and Enjoyment! These elements of teamwork support the YMCA's core values of Caring, Honesty, Respect and Responsibility. It really is a cool program. We teach these elements through a series of experiential games and exercises. I love to work out there because even though I have worked out there on the ropes course I still learn something new everyday that I work. I think when I stop learning new things I might stop working out there.



One reason I stay working for the ropes course is due to the awesome people that I get a chance to work with and know as friends as well as co-workers. I am going to try and list some of them and a tidbit about them and that will be most of my blog. This is a tribute to the people that I have met and worked with throught out my time on the ropes course.



First off Mr. Awesome Dave from the Y - Gave me my 1st shot on the ropes course as a facilitator. If you have ever met this man then you know when you meet him he makes you feel like a million bucks...If you haven't met him I suggest you try to.



Big Jim- this guy was a mentor to me and a good role model for anyone to follow who is looking into a career at the YMCA.



Jumping John - This guy has the energy that surpasses that of the Energizer Bunny. Great guy to have out on the ropes course.



Marvelous Melissa - Began the ropes course with me at the same time like most people she moved on to bigger and better things I hope she is doing well out there somewhere.



Paradise Pete - He took over the ropes course after Mr. Awesome Dave I think he took our ropes course to the next level. Thanks Pete. Pete also became a good friend to dress up in drag with on Halloween. Long Story.



Ruth - Great person. Really nice but wasn't ment to be a ropes course staff.



Ben Peirson - Great first name had a lot of good laughs with him. Great staff person. I hope all is going well for him in florida.



Krispy Chris - The best thinker I have ever seen. He can process a a group like no other.



Scott Arnold - One of the funniest guys I have ever met sometimes a bit dangerous but always up for being the ropes course scape goat.



John Murphry - What can I say this guy took me in when I had no home. Can a person be any nicer. I think not. I miss you buddy.



Krazy Chris - aka - Flying Ferdinand - Chris is definitely one of the craziest people I know. But one of the best friends I have ever had he's always there to put a smile on your face if you need one. Good luck with the family buddy.



Just John - One of the most unique guys to ever work out on the ropes course but also one of the most reliable staff members we have ever had. Plus he kinda looked like he could be my brother.



Emily - Threw great parties was a really good person. Eventhough she almost killed me on the ropes course, no hard feelings Emily.



Micheala - Not sure if she really worked on the course or not she would show up once in a while but still a good person.

Magical Mike - Fantastic guy to have around always could make me laugh and a phenomenal ropes course staff person. good luck where ever you are.



High Ropes Hogan- aka Low Ropes Logan - This guy as I have told him is like a brother to me. He picked up ropes faster than anyone besides myself. I know he will do well over in Iraq serving our country. Good luck Brother.

Jaguar John - Very reliable and a fun staff to work with is currently working. One of our longest tendered staff for a while. We couldn't run the course without you.

Nifty Nate - our Low Ropes Guru great job all around Nate Keep it up. We couldn't run the ropes course with out you.

Dazzleing Deidra - She's always up for anything and willing to do it all she had a great rescue today she was Dazzleing. Good job.

And last but not least my partner in crime for all 14 years of my service to the ropes course - Super Sue - Sue and I are like peas and carrots. She taught me how to dangle. We've been through a lot of staff together. And we stick it out together through thick and thin, good times and bad. Your a great friend Sue and you definitely always keep me laughing.

If you are not mentioned I am sorry. I really do have a bad memory. Or maybe you didn't have an impact on me....lol....just kidding. Ropes Course is always an adventure and always fun. Now if you are interested in working for us you will get a cool name. Those who dont' have a cool name above I can't remember their cool name. Contact me if interested it really is an experience that you will not forget.

God, Jerry Garcia, and Me!!!!!

Wow, how's that for a title? Sounds like a bad joke...but...before we get to the joke let's get down to the nitty gritty. First things first I would like to start with God. I currently believe that their is a God and that he gave up his only son so that I could get into heaven. I also currently am the worst Christian ever....well maybe not as bad as some of those lapsed Catholics but I'm not judging anybody else. I believe in God but I don't live the life that I am supposed to. I am currently looking for a church that I like but am so freaking lazy that I just don't look. I think that for now I will try to attend the church that my beautiful wife Carla attends and is becoming a well involved member of, so that at least I can hear the word of God. Now, I will have to open my heart, soul and mind up to the word and not the person speaking the word and their interpretations. I will have to let the word speak to me. The reason I say this is that I don't feel comfortable in the church (mentally and physically) but as long as I get the word in God will speak to me through his written word.

Maybe someday I will get off my lazy but and find my own church again. My favorite churches, where I felt I got the most out of God and his word were small churches where the body of the church worked together because they were so small. People would band together and set up chairs for the service and subsequently take down the chairs after the service was over. Now this church has a small church family but I don't know what it is it just rubs me the wrong way. I myself feel, and some people reading this may say your just lazy and judgemental. but I don't feel right and hopefully something will come my way so that I may get the fellowship that I need.

Now, the second part of the title...Jerry Garcia...now I am currently reading a book...well three books right now. One of the books is called "In the Spirit" written by Wendy Weir. This book is a book about Wendy's interaction with Jerry Garcia's spirit during a time period after Jerry Died. Now I have never been one to enjoy Jerry's music. Frankly I think that the Greatful Dead only have two good songs and they are Casey Jones and truckin and even then they arent' that great. I have been asked by people to listen to the music and honestly I have tried. To me most of the music is very bad and out of tune and a live album forget it fucking terrible. I appologize to all the Dead Heads out there but sorry that's just how I feel. Now the book. As I am reading it I feel that most of the book is a crock of shit and this women Wendy Weir, Bob Weir's sister, Bob was adopted by her parents(incase you were wondering), is using the death of a musical icon (to alot of people just not me) to make money, sell books and publish her beliefs.

I personally think she is a whack job talking about spirits, souls, devil hounds and dragons but some of here messages are ok. It's her way of dealing with spirituality. It's almost like she is trying to have her own religion where Jerry Garcia is God. Now she will not admit to this nor does she in the book but that's the way it comes across to me. in the book.

Now, the joke: It's God, Jerry Garcia and me in a boat and the boat is sinking. We empty all of the cargo off the boat to try to keep the boat from sinking. Once we get all the stuff off we realize we are still sinking and God says one of us has to go over board and most likely will die. God and I look at each other and then we look at Jerry. "you have to go Jerry" We tell him. "why me?" asks Jerry. "Well, Your music sucks," God and I say simultaneously. "Plus," God Says, "their is some whack job trying to make you out to be a god." Jerry can't really argue...i mean it is God you know. Jerry goes overboard and drowns. God and I look at each other and we realize that the boat is still sinking. "God, who has to go now?" i ask God. "He looks at me and says fear not my son I can save you and me...I can walk on water," God replied. "Oh yeah, right, then why didn't you save Jerry too?," I asked. "Even though I am all powerful and all knowing, even I couldn't keep both you fat asses afloat!"

Not sure if that joke is funny of not. let me know. I laughed my ass off when I made it up though but I have a weird sense of humor.

What's wrong with people?

Can anyone tell me where we went wrong? I mean as people. We are weaker now, we are lazier now, and people are always looking for the easy way out. Now, I am including myself in these statements that I am making now. I would love to take the easy way out. I am lazy. I don't think I'm weak but I'm sure I'm not as tough as generations before me. But...this isn't about. I just have these questions.



Just in asking myself these questions I have a theory...now I'm not standing 100% behind this theory I am just thinking out loud....or thinking through this blog. I think that we may becoming weaker as a people because we have access to more things than previous generations and because we are more tolerant of others...because we are not willing to make decisions that need to be made. We won't even kill people who have killed other people. Our prisons are over crowding, there are prisoners who have more College education than I do. I may be getting off the subject but if we can't kill a rapist murderer than we deserve what we get.



This whole train of thought was started by me noticing that a fellow co-worker, a subordinate is having problems with the work that is being given to him. He is asked to complete different tasks each day but the tasks come from a pool of 7 or 8 duties which need to be completed daily at our place of business.



I need to give you back ground information. I am a Shift Supervisor where I work but I have been where this gentleman is now. He is one of the low men on the totem pole. I was there. I was given the same duties that he is given. There is one duty that we do called Logbook and phones. The log book is basically the daily account of what happens at our place of business. Phones is monitoring resident phone calls to there parents or relatives. This is the most time consuming dutie there is. Now most supervisors won't even touch this duty, I lead by example I take the duty at least once every two weeks and sometimes once a week. I am not afraid to get down and do the things that I ask my supbordinates to do.

Yet this one person, who shall remain nameless complains about the duty in question everytime he has it and if he isn't complaining he becomes a miserable prick to his fellow staff members and to the residents. He has been doing the job for over a year maybe close to 2 years and he is still not comfortable with this duty. He also becomes insupbordinate. My recent interaction with this man is as follows; I came back to work after my weekend and I gave out the duties as it follows on our duty schedule. This guy says to me I did the log on Friday I shouldn't have to do the log on Sunday too. I argued with this man for about a half hour when in my place of business the staff do not argue with the supervisors but I am willing to listen. I got so frustrated with the conversation and the fact that I was coming from Easter dinner and before that I had worked the over night the night before. I literally had only about 3 hours of sleep. So when I got fed up I did this persons duties for the night and I let him have the day off.

Now, I have to tell you why I walk a little tenderly around this man. I have had issues in the past with this person. This person happens to be black. In no way shape or form am I or have I been a racist but when I argue with this person I feel that he is like second away from playing the race card against me. I have a good relationship with most everyone else on the shift that is at his same level. The thing is they all do what is asked of them when it is asked of them. Even if they don't like it. That is how my place of business works. That's what I do when I am asked to do something and that's how it should be.

My whole issue with this man is why is he such a baby about doing his job. Why can't he do it and not question it. It's how it's been and how it's going to be. Frankly because of him the job has changed because of him. The person doing log and phones used to have to do Safety rounds and do a lot more. But because he can't handle it or it is too tough for him we had to change it. Not my doing believe me. This man is approximately 8yrs older than me and I can't believe how lazy he is. Maybe he isn't lazy maybe it is difficult for him and he can't handle it all at once. But if that is the case then maybe he shouldn't be in this line of work. Everyone else can handle it why can't he. I don't know. But he makes his generation look bad. He might even be in my generation and that pisses me off.

We get weeker as time passes on. In this country we used to be patriots we believed in the system. We backed each other up. There used to be a lot of wrong going on but we fixed that wrong for the most part. But as we have have fixed these wrong things our country has gone soft. We feel we get over worked. Honestly the jobs at my place of business are 90% easy as pie and 10% you actually have to work. I mean seriously right now writing this blog I am at work. What's that say about me....I'm just looking for something to pass the time. I am pissed and I want this country to get back to being strong. Like know one will fuck with us and we can handle anything thrown at us.

As I write this I am feeling very very conservative and I feel that even though I didn't agree with G.W. Bush he handled business and didn't give a fuck what others thought of us. I see us getting weaker and weaker under this new administration. President Obama is our leader and I support him but as he goes I feel we are getting weak. I wait and hope he proves me wrong. I appologize to anyone reading this blog I don't mean to offend it's just how I feel. I heard a story about our president where he bowwed to another country's leader. I don't think our president should bow to anyone. It is definitely a sign of weekness. I hope that what I heard is not true.

Since I began voting not one of my candidates have come into office. I haven't been happy with our administration since Clinton was in office. I wish Hillary was in the office now. Our country needs to be strong. We as a people need to be strong. We need to do the jobs that we are being paid to do. As is write this I say maybe I shouldn't be writing but my duties are done and are being done. I can multi task unlike the man above. I am strong.

I may have got off base and I may be rambling on about nothing. I hope I make sense and I in no way intend to offend.

Booze, God,the Diner, Mexican Eggs and the murtock list.

The other day I was watching the show How I Met Your Mother(HIMYM). If you haven't seen it I advise you to see it and/or rent the previous seasons on DVD. Well anyways, the show was talking about something called the Murtock list. I have some background info for you if you haven't seen the show, so bear with me. Detective Murtock is Danny Glover's character in the Lethal Weapon series movies. A line from the movies, spoken by Detective Murtock is, "I'm getting to old for this shit!" The list on the show is things that you may be to old to do now that your older than 30.

I have just reached 32 years of age and time is not being good to me although I did run into some old friends of mine who told me I still look the same as I did when I was 18 or 19. Well, I definitely know that isn't true. I'm not sure if that is even a kind statement or a jab. Since I know my friends who have said that are really nice people then I will take it as an compliment. Even though it's totally untrue. I weigh considerably more than I did back then. I won't get into specifics about weight though. Sorry too embarrassed. I am also gaining a solar panel on the top of my head like most of the men on my dad's side of the family.

But I digress....let's get back to the Murtock list. After seeing the episode of HIMYM and an incident that I had this past weekend, I have decided to begin my own Murtock List. Now I am only going to add things to this list as I need too. As of right now I will only have one item on my list cause I have only realized that I am too old to do it this past weekend. So as I realize these things that I am too old to do I will add them to the list and will probably also tell you about them here on this blog.

Well, this past Saturday my friend Chris had a going away party. He's going away to Iraq in a few weeks and will be serving his country. God Bless him. I pray he comes back in one piece. Well anyways at his party he had an ice luge. I had never been to a party with an ice luge before and I wanted to try it. Somebody brought the Dr. and I did a shot. It was great. At the end of the night though this girl Kerry got me to do another shot on the ice luge. She poured quarter of the pint down the luge and into the mouth. It was the biggest shot I have ever taken since a bad time I had at a Camp Elmwood staff party but that's a story for another day.

I got mad props from the people at the party. I'm not particularly proud of what i did but it was cool for the short time that I was drunk at the party. I got an honorable mention on facebook as well.

But I have realized that I am too old for that shit! which brings us back to the Murtock list. Ice luges are going on the list. I did it once and I don't need to do it again. Plus what happened the next morning was so horrible.

I didn't get in till like 3 or for in the morning. The time is under debate between me and my wife Carla she says more like 4 I say definitely 3. Well I woke up at 8:30am on Sunday I had to get ready to got to church with my family for Palm Sunday. Now I am not overly religious right now but my son was going to be a greeter and an usher and would be taking the offering for the service. He looked damn cute in his 3 piece suit. So I am laying in bed awake with a killer head ache after I have taken my shower. I am feeling ok when out of nowhere my son Cody, hits me in the face with one of his books. It came as a complete shock to me. But after that I was never really the same. I ended up throwing up two times before leaving for church in a hungover state. I got to church and only fell asleep 2 times. God forgive me please. But my son was awesome as the greeter/usher.

I don't know why I keep letting this stuff happen to me. I drink way too much and then I can't even move the next day. I'm not a kid anymore. I was saved after church by a breakfast dish called Mexican eggs Great meal from the Modern Diner in Pawtucket. I have only eaten there twice but both times the food was phenomenal.

But I digress again...the list is started and doing shots on the ice luge is done. While I'm at it to I'm going to steal one from the show HIMYM beer bongs are out too. I have never done a beer bong and don't want to ever but if I'm too old for ice luges I'm too old for beer bongs.

Good bye for now.

Revalation

What the fuck is wrong with me? I just have to laugh. In a previous entry I posed the question, "Older or Gayer?" Now from all of the 3 people who read this rag of a blog, I received comments like your definitely not Gayer. I am guessing that for one to be gayer one would have to be gay in the first place. Which thankfully I am definitely not! "Not that there's anything wrong with that," as the Seinfeld characters have said. Yet, I have to regret to inform you that there is definitely something wrong with me.

First things first: I started this blog. It's kind of a journal. Now I may be stereotyping a bit but in my experience journals are mainly for girls. I know their are exceptions and this isn't your typical journal but...I digress. Secondly, that previous entry was written because I found myself enjoying the Stephanie Meyers books Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse, and Breaking Dawn. Which are primarily enjoyed by you guessed it girls. Primarily 12-16 yr old girls. Thirdly, I have found myself getting more emotional while watching TV shows and movies which men do not do. Who does this? You guessed it females.

Now what brought this on was the fact that my wife got me interested into a TV Show called Grey's Anatomy. Those of you who read this may have seen the show or at least know about it. I am so hooked on this show I have also become hooked on it's spin off called Private Practice. I found myself feeling for these fictional characters on the television and as some, not a lot, but some tears came from my tear ducts, I asked myself what the fuck is wrong with you Ben? Well, I am not sure.

Now what's really funny is that I have been talking about the book series with some of the women at work and I found myself getting excited to read the next book which is due to come out in the near future and debating about whether or not to buy the movie twilight or just rent it. What is wrong with me? Now, there is a good side to this. A guy at work started to read the series as well. He took the book home and has finished the first book as well as his father. I think they are hooked also and he said it was a good book. This guy was in the military and it makes me feel better to know that their are men out there like me, who like these books.

Now as far as the tv shows. I haven't found men who like it and frankly I don't really talk about them with any of my friends. I literally feel a bit embarrassed to say I like them. But as I said, They get to me, they make me feel for the characters even the ones that are bit one week characters. Now, like I said my wife got me hooked and sorry honey but I started watching because I think that most of the women on the show are beautiful in their own way....except for Meredith Grey...she is just not appealing to me in any way. But now I am vested in all of the doctor's lives. I guess that's why those tv writers are making all the freaking money and I'm writing this silly blog for nothing. Well maybe it's for my own piece of mind.

I'm glad I have March madness write now to keep my male emotions going high. Watching basketball is a manly thing to do. I also can't wait for baseball to be in full swing. Excuse me for a second.... I think my ADD is kicking in....why the fuck is A-Rod kissing himself in the mirror....Oh well back to me. All this bitching has been fun but I have come up with a theory for my sudden burst of sensitivity...and no my sexual preference has not changed. I believe that I have always been more sensitive in then most men. I have always been one to help out people with their feelings or issues that they may have with either some words of encouragement or otherwise but my theory is this, I think it this sudden burst of sensitivity, the crying at the drop of a scalpel on Grey's Anatomy or some other crazy thing, is all due to my wonderful son being born.

When I was in the delivery room I wasn't sure if I wanted to actually see my son being born. But the nurse had me hold my wife's leg during the process and I couldn't look away. I mean some parts were scarring to me and my wife but to watch my strong beautiful wife give birth the way that she wanted and to have my son come out was a emotionally traumatic experience. But I mean that in a good way. Let me explain, those of you who know me knew I really was thinking that I wanted a girl. But once that little boy came out I was overwhelmed. He was exactly what I always wanted deep down in my heart. I saw him and I cried. Yet they were tears of joy the only day close to me being that happy was getting married. But even that doesn't compare to seeing a life be created by me and my wife that was a part of the second happiest day of my life. I'm not sure if that last sentence made sense. I hope you get it. If there was a way to ramble through writing I think that's what I am doing now.

The short of it: Two happiest days of my life were: in 2nd place: Getting married. and in 1st place: Having created my son with my wife.

Since that day, when Cody was born has been my emotional downfall as far as man feelings go. Would I change any of it? NOT A FUCKING CHANCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So when I say What the Fuck is Wrong with Me? The answer is not a Fucking thing Asshole.

Baseball Talk, "Why the Yankees?" "Why not?"

I am going to talk about a subject near and dear to my heart...but most of my readers( i think i'm up to 4)...won't like the topic. Ah screw it...this blog is for me to express myself. Plus open minded people should read about things they don't like. They might learn to like it if they understood more about those things.



Well, yes this blog is about the Yankees. Now people always ask me how can you like the Yankees? Or You like the Yankees where are you from again? Other people see me in my Yankees garb and they are rude to me. Oh well to these people I usually just smile and walk away. I will attempt to explain myself on this subject and tell some stories about peoples reactions to me being a fan of the Yankees. The funny thing is I don't give people crap for being
Red Sox fans but usually they(Red Sox fans) find it necessary to give me crap.

To those of you who want to know. There are many reasons for me being a yankees fan and they happened to me through out my life. Here they are you can believe them if you want or not I don't care:

* My mother told me when I was little she bought me baseball cards and I would only play with
the yankees cards.
* Growing up I had a step dad who was a Red Sox Fan and a NY Giants fan...I rebelled and
became a Yankees and Pats fan.
* When I was a kid I liked sports but I only liked watching Basketball...(Bulls Fan too sorry
gotta love Jordan)...I bought a Yankees Hat because I liked the Hat and a Red Sox hat because
I liked the B on it B for Ben. I think people started giving me crap when I wore the Yankees
hat I think I liked the attention back then. The Yankees hat was worn more frequently.
* In the eighties Don Mattingly was cool... and I liked him even though I didn't watch baseball.
* When I got out of high school...I started to watch baseball more...and found a friend who was a
Yankees fan too...we watched the Yankees win the World Series in 1996 and I was hooked.
* I was born in a Year that Elvis died and the Yankees won the world series with Mr. October.
* The history of the team...it's the most known Sports franchise around the world
* The Asian kid in Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom wore a Yankees Hat in the movie.
* The Yankees are the bad guys in most baseball movies....ok well some of them anyways.
* Babe Ruth, Lou Gherig, Joe DiMaggio, Mickey Mantle, Roger Marris, Thurman Munson....so
many great players....

Now, here is how some people gave me crap:

* Constant comments from people at work...(at many different jobs)...how can you be a Yankees
fan? They can't buy a championship this year? etc etc etc.
* Walking into a Sunglasses Store(the kind where you spend like 200+ dollars on a single pair)
the clerk says to me "We don't serve Yankees fans in here!" "Nah, I'm just kidding" I walked
out that guy just lost out cause I was prepared to spend money big money on some sunglasses.
* Sitting outside of a restaurant eating my breakfast. When some guy walks out and says,
"What's up second place Yankees fan?" I said, "Do I know you?" The guy drove off. Why
would he talk to me like that unless he knew me. He didn't...He drove away.
* I was invited to a buddies Graduation Party a while back when I got there...I noticed that a lot
of the guys at the party staring me down...they wouldn't even talk to me...all they did was talk
behind my back and give me and my soon to be wife at the time dirty looks all because I was
wearing a Yankees hat.
* I have had kids at work say that they would shout someone wearing a Yankees hat in their
neighborhood. That's just fucked up.
* There are many other instances that I can't think of...I mean it is a regular occurrence

Now, the thing is Now I am an avid baseball fan. I follow through out the hole year. Most people get sick of it cause it's such a long season...not me. I love the Pats but I don't follow them like I do the Yankees. I mean I love baseball so much that because I live in Red Sox Nation I watch Red Sox Games even when they aren't playing the yankees. It's baseball....It's Americas Past time. It's awesome. I find myself even watching games on the MLB network.

Well now I want to address some things about this years Yankees team. Now Yes the yankees almost half a billion dollars on 3 players. Yes they still have the highest salary total in the majors. But If you look at the numbers you will see that the team is still under what they spent last year. I think the team is going in the right direction I also think that they will make a run for it. But that's just me hoping.

Arod. Nobody likes him. Not our fans not anyone Else's fans. He used steroids. He lied. He is probably still telling lies. The thing is I hear radio shows say how they are tired of the A-Rod business. Yet they keep bringing it up. Of course they do they know what sells and what makes people tune in. People love to hear about STAR and how they are falling or not falling. A-Rod even without steroids was a freak. He is the most talented player in baseball. He used steroids...so far we know it was in the past. Get over it. Hopefully He's not doing it now. The yankees are stuck with him for a long time...we know he can be an asshole but he's here for a while.

Jeter...all teams in the MLB would kill to have Jeter on their team. Even the ;Red Sox. The fans would love him...I know many who said they wouldn't but they are fucking liars. He is a clutch guy and always has been.

The two new pitchers CC and AJ truthfully I didn't want either one. I wanted the Yankees to trade for Peavy and to sign Derek Lowe but who am I. I will support those two this year and the years to come. Their on my team now even if CC leaves in three years.

Mark Teixiera...I did want him on my team so glad to have him. I think he will be a great addition to the team. Hopefully A-Rod will get to play with him.

Joba Starter or Relief? I say relief but who knows. No one ever knows. Just imagine once the Sandman is retired Joba could take his spot and take us into the next decade with a dominant closer. Plus with our other pitching prospects coming up we would be set in the back end of games. But again I support what my team decides for now.

Phil Hughes has potential but needs to grow some fucking balls. You can do it you have the stuff.

Andy Pettite...I think the novelty of having you back has worn off...but I know you can give us at least one more decent year...just stay fucking healthy would ya.

Damon...ya ya we stole him from the Red Sox...Blah blah blah...MLB is a business and the players are Businessmen. Damon did what he had to do. the red sox should have paid him what he's worth.

Well....I'm tired I could go on for days...I love baseball and I actually like a few players that the
Red Sox have...I would love for them to be on my Team....Pedroia....Elsbury....Bay. But the fans...I have one favor...Lets talk baseball and not trash talk You guys have one more recently...I'm glad. We one in the past...I am glad for that too. But...right now everything is in the past... this season can't we just talk baseball that's all I want. And when we play each other let's watch together so we can have some fun ok.

Last comment my worst yankees moment ever: watching the Yankee pitcher...I forget who it was give up 4 homers back to back to back to back. I almost contemplated suicide...Just kidding. That fucking sucked.

Older or Gayer? You be the Judge!

Now, I have to preface this entry. By no means am I being derogatory to the homo sexual community, but when you read this entry you will see what I mean. Plus this blog is supposed to be interesting and fun. I have no problems with people who enjoy same sex relations. Maybe the title should be Older or Girlier? I'm just too lazy to go back and change it now. So FUCKING DEAL WITH IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



Ok, now most of my followers (the few that I have) know that I had recently celebrated my 32nd birthday. Honestly birthdays don't bother me at all. I actually look forward to them. I'm definitely getting older but maybe I am getting a bit wiser also. Who knows. I like to think it's wiser. Well I got really down on myself this past weekend. I know Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagh! Poor Me! I spent not both nights doing something that a younger me would have frowned upon back in the day.



I was reading and drinking beers. That's it the end nothing else. Pretty fucking boring right. Now this could be attributed to the fact that I am getting older but the question of me getting "Gayer" comes from the book that I was reading. It is very difficult for me to say this but I was reading "Twilight" Now I know what some people will say before they hear my defense. "You're definitely getting Gayer dude"



Now all along I have stated that the books have been written for 12 year old girls. But similar to the Harry Potter Book Series this series of books has millions of readers young and old alike. I am not apposed to reading something that is well liked by millions. Some of them have to be right.



Now what if I told you that I read the first installment of this series in 2 days and it was approximately 500 pages long. Now I love to read but that is unheard of for me. But it has been happening more and more lately. The book was kinda lovey dovey for lack of a better word. Here comes the spoiler. If you haven't read it and plan to you may want to skip a couple of paragraphs down. The book is about a girl who moves to a town where a coven of vampires lives. These vampires are special they live by feeding off of animals instead of humans. But the scent of human blood still attracts them and it is very difficult for them to resist attacking humans if blood is spilled. well this girl falls in love with one of the vampires and he falls in love with her also. But the constant inner battle that the male goes through just to love this girl is amazing and also the other dangers that go along with loving a vampire. There is a very tense moment near the end of the book that is action packed and dangerous for the girl. It is a very good balance of romance and action. That is my opinion any ways.


Yet does this make me older or gayer? You be the judge! My wife says that I am a 12 year old girl in a 32 yearold mans body. I feel sorry for that 12 year old girl to have to put up with a body like I have. But anyways you make the judgement.

Drunken Story

I have talked about drinking before on this blog and I may have stated that I like to drink. If you know me you know that already. The situation that follows is a true story and will be told to the best of my memory. If my timing in this situation is wrong I apologize in advance but the story actually happened.



I'm not sure if I have mentioned this before but I didn't start drinking until I was 18 years old. It was the summer after my 18th birthday when I began. I figured that in the fall I would be in basic training for the army and if I could join the army I could drink before I got there so that I could have fun. Honestly that was my thought process. In highschool I wasn't innocent but I was a God fearing man. I still believe in God but before that summer I was strict no drinking no drugs nothing. Signing up for the military, in my mind, gave me a pass to drink, even though the law didn't. Luckily I didn't have any run ins with the law. Names of people and places may have been changed and/or left out so as to not get anyone in trouble.



So one of my best/worst memories of drinking that summer was when me and my buddy David went to a party together. See David and I worked at a YMCA Summer Day Camp. Well, David knew this girl Heather, who I used to work with at this same camp, she was throwing a party for the camp staff that she worked with at the time. David was invited and I think he invited me. I was psyched.



David was excited because he was interested in one of Heather's friends and knew that she would be at the party. We will call this girl Big T. Not cause she was a big girl, but that's what we called her. We were weird back then, who am I kidding we're still weird. Big T was a beautiful blonde haired girl who actually at the time worked at the train station where I got dropped off by the bus that summer and David would see Big T. whenever he picked me up there. It was a funny situation. It's funny because for the first like 2-3 years of knowing david I was there for most of his serious relationship get togethers. Weird.



Ok, so David was excited cause of Big T and I was excited to drink and for the possibility of meeting a girl any girl. Although I think it was more the drinking I was excited about due to the fact that I was able to talk to the girls there if I am interested in a girl I found it hard to talk to her back then. Although, the thought of the possibility was always in my mind.



David picks me up and we head to the party after a long week of summer camp and we are psyched. I think he baught me booze or we waited till we got their or something that detail escapes me. When we arrive at the party I know David, the girl Heather, and the Big T is nowhere to be found. But, with basically eveyone there being camp counselors it was easy for us all to relate even though we were from different camps. Anyone who was a camp counselor knows what I'm talking about it's kinda like the bond teachers have.



Like any party when your young we begin playing drinking games. We played quarters with a pitcher of beer and glasses of beer It was awful because at the time I only drank hard stuff cause beer was gross. I laugh my ass off now when I think of that cause now I mostly drink only beer. So ontop of this beer that I'm drinking I am drinking a mixed drink called a Purple Pirate. Captain Morgan's and Grape Soda. Don't ask me why but at the time it was damn good.



The night goes on and David and I are hitting it off with all the staff. There are good looking girls, cool guys, drinking games. I think we even sang camp songs. It was fucking fun. Once the Captain Morgans was gone I think I started drinking brandy and grape soda not a good combo but as I was drunk off my ass already it tasted fucking awesome. This was also the first time that I played asshole and as you know if, if your a drinker, the first time you play especially if your drunk, you are asshole for most of the time. that was me.



At some point in the night I began to feel sick. I am going to preface what happens next by saying I tried to do the right thing. Feeling sick, I walked to the bathroom and tried to open the door. It was locked. I knocked and from the door I heard, "NOOOOOOO!" I looked around and said is their another bathroom and somebody shouted, "Down stairs, Ben."



OH, I need to tell you about the house it was a split level ranch. If you are like I was your not really sure what that is. Honestly, that might not even be what this is called but I think it is so that's what I'm calling it. Split level ranch: when you walk into the houses front door and you enter at a stair well landing and you can go up or down depending on where you need to go. At the top of the stairs from the door was where the bathroom was located in this house. And at the bottom of the stairs was located another bathroom.



Now after I was rejected from using the upstairs bathroom and was directed to go to the down stairs bathroom, I turned around stepped down to the third step down and became woozy. I literally swayed at that step. Then like a fire hose a stream of purple nightmare spewed out of my mouth and hit the indoor side of the front door. The stairway which was carpeted did not get any vomit on it what so ever I think it was a physics miracle. Luckily for the girl Heather the landing in front of the door was tiled. After the projectile vomit was out of my mouth my body crumpled to the floor and and slid down the stair well a couple of steps.



My eyes opened to my friend David slapping me in the face straddling me saying, "Ben, what the fuck? Why didn't you go to the bathroom?" I tried to tell him that I tried.



"Big T is cleaning your puke up! I sat up and looked and said, "no, no don't clean it. I'll do it."



I stood up and searched for some paper towels. I went to the kitchen and found a role and ripped off one peice of papertowel from the role as I walked down to the landing where I had vomited. It was cleaned up and almost sparkleing. I still attempted to clean the landing with my one peice of paper towel. My friend David took me outside and sat me on the front step of the house. I felt horrible. I had puked and my friend was upset not mad just upset. I probably had inadvertantly cock blocked him. His girl had cleaned up my puke for God sakes.



Some guy started saying to me, "you need to drink water man, you'll feel so much better." My friend David was advising me against this. The yard in front of me was spinning and I felt like complete ass ... no complete shit...acutally probably both. When you're drunk, or at least as drunk as I was, you don't usually listen to your friends at least I don't anyways. I said "Get me the water." A big ass glass of water was given to me. And I drank it all down. Now as most people know, and as my friend David knew, the water would make me throw up again. I pucked in the bushes of this girls house.



Yet, it was probably the best thing that could have happened to me I felt at least 50% percent better. Good enough to walk. David disappeared at this point, not sure if he was mad that I didn't listen to him or mad at me because I puked on the bushes. He got over it anyways. I decided, once everything stopped spinning that I would walk around. I went to the left side of the house to the drive way and found a basketball hoop and a ball and a person playing. At first I thought holy shit that's a big dude. I can't play against him but I thought that I could at least shoot around with him. When I got to the hoop I found out that it wasn't a huge dude it was the biggest woman I had ever seen. She was like 6ft 6inches and at least 3 bills. She was like Big Baby Glenn Davis. I began talking to her and playing with her while playing I began to think that I might have a chance with this girl.(Alcohol does terrible things to people) As we played I decided that I probably could get with this girl but I really was too lazy to try and I dropped the ball(i don't think I made a shot, i kept aiming for the hoop in the middle.) plus my less then stellar hoop ability at the time was not helping my chances with this "HUGE BITCH"(duece bigalo).

I went back inside the house and all I can remember is that I started eating pickles and was very obsessed by this. To the point where the other guests called me pickle boy. Honestly the rest of the night is a blur (sign of a good party). The next thing I remember is waking with a raging head ache and drool coming out of my mouth. The drool was falling on the outer half of a hot chicks thigh and said hot chick was drooling on the thigh of some other guy. It was a weird way to wake up. I probably would have been proud had I not been so hung over. As I lay on this girls leg I start to feel like I am going to puke again. I slowly make my way to the bathroom door again and it is locked again. I knock. Again. And again, "NOOOOO!!" comes from the door. I fucking run down the stairs this time. I make it to the downstairs bathroom and luckily no one is in it.

Now I'm not sure if the same person was in the upstairs but Fuck I almost puked on the girls front door again.

In the downstairs bathroom I expended all fluids from my body at the same time. It's gross but it sucks when it happens. I don't wish that on anyone. But all in all it was a good night.

Fuckin' Fanboys

I'm kinda pissed. There is a movie coming out SOMEDAY called Fanboys. I think that I have been seeing previews for this movie for like three years.

For those of you who have not heard of this movie it is about a group of friends who are fans of starwars. The story takes place before Episode I is supposed to open up in the theaters. The group of friends set out on a mission to sneak a peak of the movie before anyone else. They want to break into George Lucas's compound and steal the movie so that they can be the first ones to see the movie. They run into rival fans of star trek and even get help from Captain Kirk himself, William Shatner. To me this sounds like a fucking funny ass awesome movie. But...

But....back to the current situation...like I said I have been seeing previews of this movie for a long time and I am not exagerating when I say it has been like 3 years. Now, I got wicked excited (yeah I said wicked) when I heard that it was being released on February 13th, 2009 the same day as Friday the 13th the movie remake was released. Well of course I went to see the horror movie first and then when I went on line to look for a time to see when I could see Fanboys. I didn't see it listed anywhere.

So I googled, Fanboys and found out that on febrary 13 2009 the movie was being released but only in ICELAND. Fucking Iceland. What the fucking fuck. Then I see that it will only be a limited release when it comes out in the united states in the year 2010. What the fuck!!!!!!!!!!!!

It is seriously pissing me off. why is this movie taking so long to come out in the usa. Can anyone explain this to me. I could probably find out on the internet but honestly I am too lazy. This movie looks so funny to me with the guy from Balls of Fury and Seth Rogen even has a bit part and like I said a cameo from William Shatner the Captain of all Captains on startrek.

I just don't want to get mad at the movie for taking so long...i am mad but I don't want to get to the point where I refuse to watch the movie... or I don't want to get so excited about the movie that when I finally do see it it might not live up to my expectations. well there is my rant. If you have any info on this movie let me know. I guess the nerdy side of me is showing in this here entry to my blog but what the fuck i'm a nerd at heart and probably other people think so too. So who gives a shit.

Long lost friends part I

As my life progresses I begin to think about my friends from the past that I don't see anymore. I miss them. I know, I know people have to move on, move up, move away...whatever. Thank God for facebook(fb). It has allowed me to get into contact with some friends that I thought I would never talk to again. Even though it is small talk and not meaningful stuff really at all but I love it anyways.

It gets me thinking about the friends that are not on fb. Where are they what are they doing? Do they have a family? Are they alive? How is the economy treating them? All that kind of stuff. It makes me feel sad to think of all the people that I used to know that I don't see or talk to anymore.

I mean don't get me wrong the friends I have now are awesome and I wouldn't trade them for anything but I miss those guys and as I like to say the more the merrier. It also got me thinking about doing a friend profile of the people that I used to know what they ment to me and what happened to us and our friendships. Now, in doing this it may shine a new light on myself for the people that read this. I wasn't always the nice person I try to be now and even now I have my bad days. But all I can do is try to keep improving myself for the future God willing I will be a better person.

Ok so the first person that is touching my heart and that I want to talk about is my old best friend Andrew Baker. The reason I chose him to start with is because we were the best of friends, you could say he was my first best friend ever, but I lost him as a friend in the worst possible way.

I met Andy in the 5th Grade and one day he and I and some other kid were sticking metal peices of pen into electrical sockets. Who would have guessed that this fucking idiotic behavior would have led to a great friendship. As we were shocking ourselves we just started laughing at each other as the faces we were making were fucking hilarious. One day Andy invited me to his birthday party and while there he dared me to jump off a quarter pipe with his BMX bike and I had to try it. this led to me scraping up my entire thigh from knee to hip. Good times Good times.

From then on we would hang out 7 days a week. The only thing that frustrated me about him was that he always slept til past noon on the weekends and I always woke up early and wanted to hang out when I got up. But we would do things like steal wood for a skate ramp for his brother, hang out all hours of the night in down town Taunton, watch horror movies(I wasn't allowed to watch that stuff at my house), and a bunch of other activities. He introduced me to other stuff too, I introduced him to basketball. Honestly, I hate cleaches but we were thick as theives. All the way through middle school and High school and into our twenties we were tight.

We spent our first legal St. Paddies day together. Now I'm not saying all the times were happy but most were. In highschool, we had our first rift when he broke up with his girlfriend and I tried to be friends with both her and him. Bad Idea. I ended up making out with her and then they got back together. To my defense she started kissing me in an elevator and at the time my horny self couldn't tell her know I had no will power. Not to say, that I wasn't at fault either, I had always liked her.

Well they got back together, and then to get me back he came up with an idea to freak me out and he got her to help him, it was kind of fucked up. But I definitely deserved it. They told me that she had gotten pregnant. I spent 24 hours thinking of ways they could deal with the situation and how I could help them. Then Ha ha she wasn't pregnant. funny fucking stuff. for a 17 year old to deal with. But as I said I wasn't innocent either.

A similar situation happened into our 20ies him and her had been broken up and she had a new boyfriend. She would visit us and have sex with him all the time. As you see she wasn't so innocent either. Well anyways, I invited them to a party one weekend at a friends house. At this point in my life, I was going through kind of a rough patch in my life and drinking wasnt really a good thing.

At this point our relationship, mine and Andies was kind of rocky. I had started hanging out with some other kids but always tried include him in any of my plans. Hence the party I invited him too. I don't want to say he was jealous of me and my new friends but throughout my life when I had been hanging around with other people then people in our group of friends he would make comments like "oh he worships that guy" and stuff like that. And one time in our twenties he said to me "why don't you go hang out with your new friends?" Like i said, jealousy, who knows?

So back to this party, I invited him and her to the party and it was a great time. I got so wasted I hit on every chick at the party. Those of you who know me well know that that is not my MO. But I had liquid courage. Also that the fact that I was still a virgin at this late stage in my life wasn't helping me either. I wanted some and I wanted it badly. But I digress. As my advances were thwarted by every girl finally my moves were successful on you guessed it this girl that was kinda with but not really my friend Andy.

Now she was also notorious for getting drunk and getting really horny. Honestly, I had no preconceived thoughts to use this to my advantage. After getting shot down by every other girl at the party I was sitting in a chair and then she came over to me and sat on my lap. Being drunk, I go instantly aroused and I began drunkenly makeing my advances toward her. Wow! I thought she is going for it. I then stated to her...as i kind of thought about getting away from her that wow she is still kinda with Andy I need to get away from her....suddenly I had to pee. I thought good I can get away from her. i went out side and started peeing. when i was done their she was right behind me.

I said hi and she walked over and started kissing me. I couldn't stop before i knew it we were almost ready to be with each other. clothing was removed we were out side then ....we heard noises coming from around the house she got off of me and i pulled up my pants. trying to button them up. But the jig was up. My friend Andy hadn't seen anything but it was obvious what we had been doing. To his credit he didn't hit me and he had every right to and at that moment if he had I wouldn't have fought back. I knew again I was in the wrong. I actually wanted him to hit me I deserved it.

He didn't though he grabbed her and took off. Karma got me though because later that night my car was stolen and crashed into a tree. I got it back eventually but with some new dents. It was terrible because soon after as was his plan anyways he moved to florida and we didn't talk for like 3 years. Other friends of mine and his were harsh on me for a while which I also deserved and finally we saw each other and we didn't talk about it but we gave each other a hug and all I said was I'm sorry man.

I haven't seen him since and I miss the guy. I hope he is doing well. I think he has like 2 or 3 kids still lives in florida. Like i said i was in a rough spot for a while from like 20 - 24 it was really bad time where I almost had a nervous break down. And luckily alot of the friends that were tough on me forgave me including him i think.

Like I said I miss him and wish him all the best. I hope he joins facebook soon I can't wait to talk to him.

I hope nobody thinks less of me by reading this but honesty is always the best policy and is most interesting. i hope you enjoyed this insight into my life and don't think less or more of me please.

Honesty.....is always the best policy?

Well, I have been doing a lot of reading and watching TV lately....what am I saying I do that all the time...never mind lately, but have noticed something lately that I have never noticed before. WAIT....I'm getting ahead of my self. Recently I have read the book Artie Lange...Too Fat To Fish. First off let me tell you a fucking great book, even if your not a fan of Artie's or the Howard stern show. If you are a fan of the Howard Stern show then you know that Howard has always been as honest as possible on his show and believes that Honesty makes for funny and great radio. Artie, in this tell all book, has taken this philosophy to heart with his book.

Honesty is what we are talking about now in this here blog entry. Well, am going to write about a honest observation about myself. I am a fucking sappy mother fucker. I think I have always been that way but have for the most part been able to hide it. Except for a few times when I have lost my mind and let the emotions flow. But! The terrible but....I have noticed more recently that I have been having trouble hiding my sensitive side. Thankfully these lapses in my emotional stability have come at times when I have been all by myself.

But that's not really the disturbing part. It's what I am getting all choked up about is what concerns me. While I was reading Artie's book...I found out that that guy has really been through some fucked up shit. But, there were things in the book that actually brought a tear to my eye. Which doesn't really happen to me when I read books.

The next thing that happened, when my balls took a hiatus, was that I was watching the show Private Practice. I know I know most of my guy friends will probably say "Well there's your problem Ben, YOUR GAY!!!! Not that there is anything wrong with that!" But, I can't help it that show and it's predecessor just have their hooks in me. Good thing I balance myself out with very manly shows such as 24, Rescue Me, and Lost. Now to be honest(cause that's what we're talking about here) I started watching the two girl shows because they have very attractive women on them. But! They have very deep content and are very interesting. My friends would say, "No, you really are GAY!" But so what I enjoy some sappy TV...but now I the shows are bringing tears to my eyes. What the Fuck?

Oh well. their is my big Revelation. I cry now for things that I never cried at before. I'm not sure but it may have to be because of my son. I love him and will always love him but having a child really does affect you in more ways than one.

Well if Honesty is the best policy then I hope you enjoyed this post. It was Honest...I'm not sure how funny it is but it's at the least Honest. But as honest as I am or hope to be there will be things that I have done, seen, heard that will go with me to my grave. And that is the HONEST TRUTH!