Drunken Story

I have talked about drinking before on this blog and I may have stated that I like to drink. If you know me you know that already. The situation that follows is a true story and will be told to the best of my memory. If my timing in this situation is wrong I apologize in advance but the story actually happened.



I'm not sure if I have mentioned this before but I didn't start drinking until I was 18 years old. It was the summer after my 18th birthday when I began. I figured that in the fall I would be in basic training for the army and if I could join the army I could drink before I got there so that I could have fun. Honestly that was my thought process. In highschool I wasn't innocent but I was a God fearing man. I still believe in God but before that summer I was strict no drinking no drugs nothing. Signing up for the military, in my mind, gave me a pass to drink, even though the law didn't. Luckily I didn't have any run ins with the law. Names of people and places may have been changed and/or left out so as to not get anyone in trouble.



So one of my best/worst memories of drinking that summer was when me and my buddy David went to a party together. See David and I worked at a YMCA Summer Day Camp. Well, David knew this girl Heather, who I used to work with at this same camp, she was throwing a party for the camp staff that she worked with at the time. David was invited and I think he invited me. I was psyched.



David was excited because he was interested in one of Heather's friends and knew that she would be at the party. We will call this girl Big T. Not cause she was a big girl, but that's what we called her. We were weird back then, who am I kidding we're still weird. Big T was a beautiful blonde haired girl who actually at the time worked at the train station where I got dropped off by the bus that summer and David would see Big T. whenever he picked me up there. It was a funny situation. It's funny because for the first like 2-3 years of knowing david I was there for most of his serious relationship get togethers. Weird.



Ok, so David was excited cause of Big T and I was excited to drink and for the possibility of meeting a girl any girl. Although I think it was more the drinking I was excited about due to the fact that I was able to talk to the girls there if I am interested in a girl I found it hard to talk to her back then. Although, the thought of the possibility was always in my mind.



David picks me up and we head to the party after a long week of summer camp and we are psyched. I think he baught me booze or we waited till we got their or something that detail escapes me. When we arrive at the party I know David, the girl Heather, and the Big T is nowhere to be found. But, with basically eveyone there being camp counselors it was easy for us all to relate even though we were from different camps. Anyone who was a camp counselor knows what I'm talking about it's kinda like the bond teachers have.



Like any party when your young we begin playing drinking games. We played quarters with a pitcher of beer and glasses of beer It was awful because at the time I only drank hard stuff cause beer was gross. I laugh my ass off now when I think of that cause now I mostly drink only beer. So ontop of this beer that I'm drinking I am drinking a mixed drink called a Purple Pirate. Captain Morgan's and Grape Soda. Don't ask me why but at the time it was damn good.



The night goes on and David and I are hitting it off with all the staff. There are good looking girls, cool guys, drinking games. I think we even sang camp songs. It was fucking fun. Once the Captain Morgans was gone I think I started drinking brandy and grape soda not a good combo but as I was drunk off my ass already it tasted fucking awesome. This was also the first time that I played asshole and as you know if, if your a drinker, the first time you play especially if your drunk, you are asshole for most of the time. that was me.



At some point in the night I began to feel sick. I am going to preface what happens next by saying I tried to do the right thing. Feeling sick, I walked to the bathroom and tried to open the door. It was locked. I knocked and from the door I heard, "NOOOOOOO!" I looked around and said is their another bathroom and somebody shouted, "Down stairs, Ben."



OH, I need to tell you about the house it was a split level ranch. If you are like I was your not really sure what that is. Honestly, that might not even be what this is called but I think it is so that's what I'm calling it. Split level ranch: when you walk into the houses front door and you enter at a stair well landing and you can go up or down depending on where you need to go. At the top of the stairs from the door was where the bathroom was located in this house. And at the bottom of the stairs was located another bathroom.



Now after I was rejected from using the upstairs bathroom and was directed to go to the down stairs bathroom, I turned around stepped down to the third step down and became woozy. I literally swayed at that step. Then like a fire hose a stream of purple nightmare spewed out of my mouth and hit the indoor side of the front door. The stairway which was carpeted did not get any vomit on it what so ever I think it was a physics miracle. Luckily for the girl Heather the landing in front of the door was tiled. After the projectile vomit was out of my mouth my body crumpled to the floor and and slid down the stair well a couple of steps.



My eyes opened to my friend David slapping me in the face straddling me saying, "Ben, what the fuck? Why didn't you go to the bathroom?" I tried to tell him that I tried.



"Big T is cleaning your puke up! I sat up and looked and said, "no, no don't clean it. I'll do it."



I stood up and searched for some paper towels. I went to the kitchen and found a role and ripped off one peice of papertowel from the role as I walked down to the landing where I had vomited. It was cleaned up and almost sparkleing. I still attempted to clean the landing with my one peice of paper towel. My friend David took me outside and sat me on the front step of the house. I felt horrible. I had puked and my friend was upset not mad just upset. I probably had inadvertantly cock blocked him. His girl had cleaned up my puke for God sakes.



Some guy started saying to me, "you need to drink water man, you'll feel so much better." My friend David was advising me against this. The yard in front of me was spinning and I felt like complete ass ... no complete shit...acutally probably both. When you're drunk, or at least as drunk as I was, you don't usually listen to your friends at least I don't anyways. I said "Get me the water." A big ass glass of water was given to me. And I drank it all down. Now as most people know, and as my friend David knew, the water would make me throw up again. I pucked in the bushes of this girls house.



Yet, it was probably the best thing that could have happened to me I felt at least 50% percent better. Good enough to walk. David disappeared at this point, not sure if he was mad that I didn't listen to him or mad at me because I puked on the bushes. He got over it anyways. I decided, once everything stopped spinning that I would walk around. I went to the left side of the house to the drive way and found a basketball hoop and a ball and a person playing. At first I thought holy shit that's a big dude. I can't play against him but I thought that I could at least shoot around with him. When I got to the hoop I found out that it wasn't a huge dude it was the biggest woman I had ever seen. She was like 6ft 6inches and at least 3 bills. She was like Big Baby Glenn Davis. I began talking to her and playing with her while playing I began to think that I might have a chance with this girl.(Alcohol does terrible things to people) As we played I decided that I probably could get with this girl but I really was too lazy to try and I dropped the ball(i don't think I made a shot, i kept aiming for the hoop in the middle.) plus my less then stellar hoop ability at the time was not helping my chances with this "HUGE BITCH"(duece bigalo).

I went back inside the house and all I can remember is that I started eating pickles and was very obsessed by this. To the point where the other guests called me pickle boy. Honestly the rest of the night is a blur (sign of a good party). The next thing I remember is waking with a raging head ache and drool coming out of my mouth. The drool was falling on the outer half of a hot chicks thigh and said hot chick was drooling on the thigh of some other guy. It was a weird way to wake up. I probably would have been proud had I not been so hung over. As I lay on this girls leg I start to feel like I am going to puke again. I slowly make my way to the bathroom door again and it is locked again. I knock. Again. And again, "NOOOOO!!" comes from the door. I fucking run down the stairs this time. I make it to the downstairs bathroom and luckily no one is in it.

Now I'm not sure if the same person was in the upstairs but Fuck I almost puked on the girls front door again.

In the downstairs bathroom I expended all fluids from my body at the same time. It's gross but it sucks when it happens. I don't wish that on anyone. But all in all it was a good night.

Fuckin' Fanboys

I'm kinda pissed. There is a movie coming out SOMEDAY called Fanboys. I think that I have been seeing previews for this movie for like three years.

For those of you who have not heard of this movie it is about a group of friends who are fans of starwars. The story takes place before Episode I is supposed to open up in the theaters. The group of friends set out on a mission to sneak a peak of the movie before anyone else. They want to break into George Lucas's compound and steal the movie so that they can be the first ones to see the movie. They run into rival fans of star trek and even get help from Captain Kirk himself, William Shatner. To me this sounds like a fucking funny ass awesome movie. But...

But....back to the current situation...like I said I have been seeing previews of this movie for a long time and I am not exagerating when I say it has been like 3 years. Now, I got wicked excited (yeah I said wicked) when I heard that it was being released on February 13th, 2009 the same day as Friday the 13th the movie remake was released. Well of course I went to see the horror movie first and then when I went on line to look for a time to see when I could see Fanboys. I didn't see it listed anywhere.

So I googled, Fanboys and found out that on febrary 13 2009 the movie was being released but only in ICELAND. Fucking Iceland. What the fucking fuck. Then I see that it will only be a limited release when it comes out in the united states in the year 2010. What the fuck!!!!!!!!!!!!

It is seriously pissing me off. why is this movie taking so long to come out in the usa. Can anyone explain this to me. I could probably find out on the internet but honestly I am too lazy. This movie looks so funny to me with the guy from Balls of Fury and Seth Rogen even has a bit part and like I said a cameo from William Shatner the Captain of all Captains on startrek.

I just don't want to get mad at the movie for taking so long...i am mad but I don't want to get to the point where I refuse to watch the movie... or I don't want to get so excited about the movie that when I finally do see it it might not live up to my expectations. well there is my rant. If you have any info on this movie let me know. I guess the nerdy side of me is showing in this here entry to my blog but what the fuck i'm a nerd at heart and probably other people think so too. So who gives a shit.

Long lost friends part I

As my life progresses I begin to think about my friends from the past that I don't see anymore. I miss them. I know, I know people have to move on, move up, move away...whatever. Thank God for facebook(fb). It has allowed me to get into contact with some friends that I thought I would never talk to again. Even though it is small talk and not meaningful stuff really at all but I love it anyways.

It gets me thinking about the friends that are not on fb. Where are they what are they doing? Do they have a family? Are they alive? How is the economy treating them? All that kind of stuff. It makes me feel sad to think of all the people that I used to know that I don't see or talk to anymore.

I mean don't get me wrong the friends I have now are awesome and I wouldn't trade them for anything but I miss those guys and as I like to say the more the merrier. It also got me thinking about doing a friend profile of the people that I used to know what they ment to me and what happened to us and our friendships. Now, in doing this it may shine a new light on myself for the people that read this. I wasn't always the nice person I try to be now and even now I have my bad days. But all I can do is try to keep improving myself for the future God willing I will be a better person.

Ok so the first person that is touching my heart and that I want to talk about is my old best friend Andrew Baker. The reason I chose him to start with is because we were the best of friends, you could say he was my first best friend ever, but I lost him as a friend in the worst possible way.

I met Andy in the 5th Grade and one day he and I and some other kid were sticking metal peices of pen into electrical sockets. Who would have guessed that this fucking idiotic behavior would have led to a great friendship. As we were shocking ourselves we just started laughing at each other as the faces we were making were fucking hilarious. One day Andy invited me to his birthday party and while there he dared me to jump off a quarter pipe with his BMX bike and I had to try it. this led to me scraping up my entire thigh from knee to hip. Good times Good times.

From then on we would hang out 7 days a week. The only thing that frustrated me about him was that he always slept til past noon on the weekends and I always woke up early and wanted to hang out when I got up. But we would do things like steal wood for a skate ramp for his brother, hang out all hours of the night in down town Taunton, watch horror movies(I wasn't allowed to watch that stuff at my house), and a bunch of other activities. He introduced me to other stuff too, I introduced him to basketball. Honestly, I hate cleaches but we were thick as theives. All the way through middle school and High school and into our twenties we were tight.

We spent our first legal St. Paddies day together. Now I'm not saying all the times were happy but most were. In highschool, we had our first rift when he broke up with his girlfriend and I tried to be friends with both her and him. Bad Idea. I ended up making out with her and then they got back together. To my defense she started kissing me in an elevator and at the time my horny self couldn't tell her know I had no will power. Not to say, that I wasn't at fault either, I had always liked her.

Well they got back together, and then to get me back he came up with an idea to freak me out and he got her to help him, it was kind of fucked up. But I definitely deserved it. They told me that she had gotten pregnant. I spent 24 hours thinking of ways they could deal with the situation and how I could help them. Then Ha ha she wasn't pregnant. funny fucking stuff. for a 17 year old to deal with. But as I said I wasn't innocent either.

A similar situation happened into our 20ies him and her had been broken up and she had a new boyfriend. She would visit us and have sex with him all the time. As you see she wasn't so innocent either. Well anyways, I invited them to a party one weekend at a friends house. At this point in my life, I was going through kind of a rough patch in my life and drinking wasnt really a good thing.

At this point our relationship, mine and Andies was kind of rocky. I had started hanging out with some other kids but always tried include him in any of my plans. Hence the party I invited him too. I don't want to say he was jealous of me and my new friends but throughout my life when I had been hanging around with other people then people in our group of friends he would make comments like "oh he worships that guy" and stuff like that. And one time in our twenties he said to me "why don't you go hang out with your new friends?" Like i said, jealousy, who knows?

So back to this party, I invited him and her to the party and it was a great time. I got so wasted I hit on every chick at the party. Those of you who know me well know that that is not my MO. But I had liquid courage. Also that the fact that I was still a virgin at this late stage in my life wasn't helping me either. I wanted some and I wanted it badly. But I digress. As my advances were thwarted by every girl finally my moves were successful on you guessed it this girl that was kinda with but not really my friend Andy.

Now she was also notorious for getting drunk and getting really horny. Honestly, I had no preconceived thoughts to use this to my advantage. After getting shot down by every other girl at the party I was sitting in a chair and then she came over to me and sat on my lap. Being drunk, I go instantly aroused and I began drunkenly makeing my advances toward her. Wow! I thought she is going for it. I then stated to her...as i kind of thought about getting away from her that wow she is still kinda with Andy I need to get away from her....suddenly I had to pee. I thought good I can get away from her. i went out side and started peeing. when i was done their she was right behind me.

I said hi and she walked over and started kissing me. I couldn't stop before i knew it we were almost ready to be with each other. clothing was removed we were out side then ....we heard noises coming from around the house she got off of me and i pulled up my pants. trying to button them up. But the jig was up. My friend Andy hadn't seen anything but it was obvious what we had been doing. To his credit he didn't hit me and he had every right to and at that moment if he had I wouldn't have fought back. I knew again I was in the wrong. I actually wanted him to hit me I deserved it.

He didn't though he grabbed her and took off. Karma got me though because later that night my car was stolen and crashed into a tree. I got it back eventually but with some new dents. It was terrible because soon after as was his plan anyways he moved to florida and we didn't talk for like 3 years. Other friends of mine and his were harsh on me for a while which I also deserved and finally we saw each other and we didn't talk about it but we gave each other a hug and all I said was I'm sorry man.

I haven't seen him since and I miss the guy. I hope he is doing well. I think he has like 2 or 3 kids still lives in florida. Like i said i was in a rough spot for a while from like 20 - 24 it was really bad time where I almost had a nervous break down. And luckily alot of the friends that were tough on me forgave me including him i think.

Like I said I miss him and wish him all the best. I hope he joins facebook soon I can't wait to talk to him.

I hope nobody thinks less of me by reading this but honesty is always the best policy and is most interesting. i hope you enjoyed this insight into my life and don't think less or more of me please.