Honesty.....is always the best policy?

Well, I have been doing a lot of reading and watching TV lately....what am I saying I do that all the time...never mind lately, but have noticed something lately that I have never noticed before. WAIT....I'm getting ahead of my self. Recently I have read the book Artie Lange...Too Fat To Fish. First off let me tell you a fucking great book, even if your not a fan of Artie's or the Howard stern show. If you are a fan of the Howard Stern show then you know that Howard has always been as honest as possible on his show and believes that Honesty makes for funny and great radio. Artie, in this tell all book, has taken this philosophy to heart with his book.

Honesty is what we are talking about now in this here blog entry. Well, am going to write about a honest observation about myself. I am a fucking sappy mother fucker. I think I have always been that way but have for the most part been able to hide it. Except for a few times when I have lost my mind and let the emotions flow. But! The terrible but....I have noticed more recently that I have been having trouble hiding my sensitive side. Thankfully these lapses in my emotional stability have come at times when I have been all by myself.

But that's not really the disturbing part. It's what I am getting all choked up about is what concerns me. While I was reading Artie's book...I found out that that guy has really been through some fucked up shit. But, there were things in the book that actually brought a tear to my eye. Which doesn't really happen to me when I read books.

The next thing that happened, when my balls took a hiatus, was that I was watching the show Private Practice. I know I know most of my guy friends will probably say "Well there's your problem Ben, YOUR GAY!!!! Not that there is anything wrong with that!" But, I can't help it that show and it's predecessor just have their hooks in me. Good thing I balance myself out with very manly shows such as 24, Rescue Me, and Lost. Now to be honest(cause that's what we're talking about here) I started watching the two girl shows because they have very attractive women on them. But! They have very deep content and are very interesting. My friends would say, "No, you really are GAY!" But so what I enjoy some sappy TV...but now I the shows are bringing tears to my eyes. What the Fuck?

Oh well. their is my big Revelation. I cry now for things that I never cried at before. I'm not sure but it may have to be because of my son. I love him and will always love him but having a child really does affect you in more ways than one.

Well if Honesty is the best policy then I hope you enjoyed this post. It was Honest...I'm not sure how funny it is but it's at the least Honest. But as honest as I am or hope to be there will be things that I have done, seen, heard that will go with me to my grave. And that is the HONEST TRUTH!

Into the Wild

I recently saw a movie called Into the Wild. Fucking grade A movie. Inspirational to say the least. So far it has only inspired me to read the book Into the wild. Yet it makes me think of all the adventures that I have had in life, the good, the bad and the ugly. Most definitely it makes me think that I should have more adventure. Now I love my son but and nothing will ever change that nothing but most of my adventure days are pretty much at a stand still until I can take family vacations I absolutely can't wait to share adventures with my family. I have hiked mountains, rock climbed, kayaked, canoed, camped but their is so much more.

I think I would like to do a guys weekend trip in the summer until Cody is ready to take the big trips. Even if it is the Saco river. Funds are tight so the cheaper the better....oh yeah back to the movie. This movie is about a young man from a well to do family...who disowns his family and takes on the life of a tramp. Moving from place to place living life and doing what he wants and letting the road and the country decide his path. All the while preparing for his dream to go Into the Wild of Alaska.

This story happened in the year 1992 and is true. Some of the story is speculation but thickly based in truth. I definitely suggest both the book and the movie to everyone of my friends. You can watch the movie first and then you'll probably want to read the book. It doesn't ruin it. I didn't do it the opposite way so I'm not sure if the book ruins the movie. I don't think so though.

Like I said it is very inspirational and I'm not sure my sophomoric writing does it justice or the vulgar rating of, "Fucking grade A movie" either. So it has also inspired me to expand my vocabulary. I have been a firm believer in that reading anything makes you smarter and still am but when you don't know what the word means and are having a hard time using your context clues it's time to make an assertive effort. I am going to start looking up words that I don't know.

I am also making a pledge to read more of the classics. I am going to try and tackle War and Peace, and many other books listed in the book we are talking about. These inspirations will help me in my endeavor of writing.

It has also inspired me to put in a resume with at the Hockomock Area YMCA for the sport director position. My heart is at its happiest when I work for something I truly believe in. It's not the sports position but just working for the YMCA has been one of the most fulfilling things I have ever done with my life next to my family.

Don't get me wrong working with delinquents in a treatment program is fulfilling and has become my second favorite job of all time but why settle for second best when the first is right there in front of you. I am probably a long shot to get the position but if I don't try I will never know. I don't think Chris McCandless the hero in the story of Into the Wild, would approve of me not trying to do what I love. Oh, I guess I have to mention that the book is written by Jon Krakauer author of other best sellers that I haven't read yet called Into thin Air and Under the Banner of Heaven.

DUDE, that's a Dude!?!?!

Funny funny shit happened tonight. I had to come home and write about it as soon as I could. Where I work, which is probably like most peoples work, people tend to go out for drinks after their shift. Well, a few people that I work with went out a while back and a guy that was just doing overtime on our floor went out with some people he happened to be working with that night. The guy, felt really good about himself that night because while he was out he had been hitting on a girl at the bar and he did it in front of a few of the guys that I work with and that he was working with that night.

The next day he was doing some more over time on my shift and was talking about it. I really didn't happen to hear exactly what was being said but I think he was kind of congratulating himself about the whole thing. Now the bar that they had gone to is a small bar/restaurant in Easton. No shameless plugs tonight. One of the guys who works on first shift where I work and happened to be at the bar with the guy in question, stated that he sees that girl that the other guy was hitting on and he thought that she was a he. This first shift guy went so far as to take a picture of said he/she with his cell phone and stated when he showed it off that the bartender confirmed that it was a guy and that he is always in there trying to pick up guys. Needless to say this crushed the guy who was hitting on her and he hasn't really been seen on the unit for overtime since.

I have seen the picture and the picture definitely looks like a man trying to be a woman. Tonight, I went out to the same bar with two other guys from work. This bar has the greatest special they have .99 cent 10' pizzas and $2.oo Coors light drafts. Pizza, Beer, and Tip $5.00. But anyways this said he/she was in the bar tonight or I should say last night due to the fact that it is now tomorrow. He/she was pointed out to me buy one of the guys who saw her/him the very first incident I told you about. I know it is all confused. But, please stay with me.

Now, in person, myself and the other guy with me who had never seen this person before, couldn't tell whether it was a guy or a girl. It definitely seemed to be more on the female side of things. We discussed this at great length. The guy who had seen her/him before was definitely stating that the phone pic of said person was definitely condemning and that he was leaning on the side of the fence saying that it definitely was a dude. We stated that we were not sure it was a man but a very manish looking woman. But as we watched from a far we saw this person go from one guy to another trying to work some magic. When she/he made her/his way over to our side of the bar she/he sat next to a guy who must have been eyeing her from across the bar.

This started our conversation down a path that had me in stitches the whole ride home. I had asked the question if there was a guy code, a man law if you may, that states that a man should tell his fellow man if the woman he is talking to is a man or not. One buddy of mine stated yeah but what about the Cock Blocking man law. Thou shalt not Cock Block your buddy. We decided that it was a sticky situation. No pun intended, I hope none were taken. But it was finally decided that if it is your buddy you let it go until the point where either your buddy is about to kiss the he/she or leave with him/her and then you tell him your suspicions so that there can be plenty of making fun of said buddy. But take this guy that might be unsuspecting that we had no emotional ties to at all we decided that it would be best to let him hang himself with this one. the laughter ensued.

Plus this guy that was flirting and as time went on gave he/she(suspected) his number and then had his arm around him/her, had a buddy with him. We left before we could see the outcome, I definitely didn't want to see anything coming out, but we are hoping that the buddy wasn't bamboozled or that we are totally wrong about our suspicions. At least I did anyways.

Well, that's the funny shit that happened. Maybe not funny to you but I had a chuckle and it got me to write on here again so that is a good thing.

Ben

Politics. WHAAAAAT?

As I sit here and drink, I think to myself how lucky I am. I can come home kiss my wife and son goodnight, have a beer, go online and goof off and then go to sleep in my bed. I am lucky! But a lot of people might not be so lucky as me. Especially in the times that we live in. The Economy is bad and probably going to get worse before it gets better. People are still spending but they are spending money they don't have. Credit cards may just be the devil or at least a tool of the devil.

As I sit and take another sip I think about our country and our world. It's going down the crapper economy wise. Those of you who know me no that I don't watch the news, I'm not that political and I don't ever have my finger on the pulse of the country. I never know what is going on. It may be ignorant of me and you might think that I am white trash or a piece of shit. That may be true but at least now I am trying a little bit. I try to take some information in that is not sports related.

I did not vote for our current president. You can all gasp and cringe. I voted for that old guy and the hot chick. I did it, not that I have to justify myself, because I felt that McCain had more experience and I usually vote for the loser in these presidential elections anyways. To tell you the truth I got about halfway through one of the debates and didn't really like either of the two guys but I liked a lot of what McCain had said and what I had been told about him from my peers. I'll be honest most of my political views come from what I here on Sports Radio WEEI sorry for the plug, and Howard Stern I was without my Sirius radio for a bit so I don't know who he was voting for this time around.

President Obama just seemed to charasmatic for my tastes. Too perfect. I was really upset when he won the election, but not because he won but because of a rumor that I heard. I had heard that people wanted to have him have his own holiday just because he won the election. Now, I am all for having more days off from work but for a man who hasn't done anything yet to get a holiday was and is insane.

But as I sit here drinking and typing away at my pc, I sit here impressed by what I have heard that President Obama accomplished on his first day in office. Even after all that fucking dancing he did last night. I'm not sure if you heard what he did but I am going to tell you anyways. President Obama put a salary freeze on all white house staffer's who make $100,000.00 or more. Wow, first day, and the guy doesnt' make friends with the people who take care of him on a daily basis. Impressive. Good start. He also put into place, and i don't know if this is a good thing or not but, he put into place a year plan to shut down gwantanamo(who know's how to spell that?) bay. Now that scares me because it makes meworry about terrorists and stuff but It is another way to lower spending that may not necessarily be necessary. Who knows.

I am definitely NO Obama girl or anything like that but I will support him until he fucks up so bad that I am effected by what he has done. I guess that's the american way right. Can't wait to hear what he does tommorrow.

Ben

Death To Stanely Burger

Before you my faithful readers continue reading I want you to know that this entry will let you enter into a part of my life that you may not want to enter. But, I feel that the information which follows is imperative to your health and everyone on the planet. So you choose, read on or don't, it's your choice. You have been warned.

Now, it is my personal triumph that I pretty much can eat anything and usually do. With few exceptions i.e. mushrooms and sometimes tomatoes. But those things I do not like so I don't eat them. I have eaten many things that would turn another man's stomach. I'm not proud. Well, yes I am I think I stated that fact a few sentences ago. Sorry for the false statement.

I also am a huge fan of the late night after drinking stop to get something to eat before you get home. Some of my favorites include: Taco Bell(really anything on the menu), Wendy's, the occasional sausage guy outside of clubs in providence and only the Sausage Guy in Boston ( I vomited while eating a sausage from a different vendor once), there is also the New York System Wienies in Olneville(I like em all the way), or Friendly Guy Pizza from the famous Stu the Rappin' Pizza Guy. And there are probably many others but these the top ones that come to mind. Oh yeah and Chinese food, Crab Rangoooooooooooons!

So a friend of mine who shall remain nameless told me months ago about a place in Providence and in CF (central falls for those of you who don't know Rhode Island) called Stanley Burger. I was told by this friend that it was the Olneville of hamburgers. I was excited to hear this and was looking forward to it. Now after a few months I had forgotten about Stanley Burger. On January 9th, 2009 though I remembered Stanley Burger and will probably never forget the fucking place. Well, me and this friend and some other friends went out to celebrate the above mentioned friends birthday. We went to Rick's Roadhouse Whiskey Bar cool place but across the street is Stanley Burger. So after we were out we decided, because I had heard such good things about Stanley Burger to go there for a late night munchie session. So I ordered two Stanley Burgers and a coffee milk and was looking forward to sharing an order of cheese fries.

I watched the Stanley Burgers being made. they are an inch and a half patty in diameter that gets smashed into the size of a regular McDonald's burger and then a shit load of onions are thrown on it and they are all cooked together. Watching this site didn't impress me and I was weary after seeing them cook it but they cost 2.49 with cheese so I had to eat them. They came to me and I ate the first one. It didn't taste to good. It wasn't the second coming like I had been told. On the second burger I scraped off the onions and forced it down too. As soon as, I was finished I thought that I would be throwing up in the parking lot when we left. I was offered the cheese fries and immediately and graciously declined.

Just so you know I hate to throw up, most people don't like it. So on my way to the car through the parking lot I fought the urge to throw up. All the way home I fought it. I went to bed and fought it until about 5:30 in the morning i went to the bathroom and vomited 3 times. Then I had to empty my bowels( oh sorry this is where it gets gross if you stop reading now i won't hold it against you). Oh how shitty I felt. After this episode, I cleaned the mess and tried to go back to sleep it was horrible I felt as if I was going to shit at any second. I was afraid to fall asleep because I didn't want to relieve myself in my bed that would be bad due to the fact that I am turning 32 next month.

So for the next 3 days Saturday, Sunday and Monday I have lived in fear that I would shit my pants. My stomach has been doing back flips and my asshole has been pissing every 2 hours or so. It was outrageous. In fact at 1am on Tuesday i am still slightly feeling the effects of those fucking Stanley Burgers. I haven't stated it yet that Stanley Burger is the Devil and my friend who told me about it and took me there was the Anti Christ and he openly admitted this to me. I must have gotten food poisoning or something bad I hope I didn't get Mad Cow or anything like that.

Now if you have stuck with me this far i applaud you. And you will be rewarded. Now, I used to promote to others that you should look for a positive in any situation because it makes you feel better. I had gotten away from that myself and my wife reminds me that I should look for the positive more often so I have took this opportunity to look for one to see if it really works. Well I found two positives. the first one being that I am positive that I will never eat a Stanley Burger ever ever again. And second I have lost 10lbs in two days. That might be a health issue but for a guy my size it's comes as a blessing in disguise.

So now I say Death to Stanley Burger. I'm out. Thug life. Wait sorry I think that Mad Cow Disease is starting.

ben

Welcome 2009

I was just sitting here at work bored out of my skull. I figured I would talk about this new year and what it might bring. I am going to try really hard to follow through on my new year's resolutions. I got one going with my buddy Jim. He's giving up smoking...again, and I have to give up all fast food. Now those of you who know me really well know that I am a junky for fast food. Taco Bell should give me free stuff every once in a while I used to eat there so often. But at 12:00am on January 1st, 2009, I Ben Dyer said good bye to the Big Border Box Meal and also a very sad good bye to the Wendy's Baconator. I almost come to tears when I think about all that bacon I will be missing out on. Although, I am allotted to bring my son Cody to either Burger King or Wendy's once a month for a special treat where I can enjoy something off of the .99 cent value menu. It's really tough to quit cold turkey.

What else will happen in the new year? I know the economy is getting bad but it seems that people still are spending. But me staying away from fast food should help out my household. Another resolution of mine is to attempt to work out more on a consistent basis. Isn't this always one on somebodies list? But I think as long as I am cutting way back on BK Double Stackers I mine as well get fit while I'm at it. I'm not happy the way I am and it's getting harder and harder not to shop at the Big And Fat stores or whatever you call em. So I think I could use to lose a few pounds. So I will be taking more advantage of my YMCA membership. This will take place when I go back to second shift at work.(I fucking hate the overnight!) To help with this I need my wife to stop making things like peanut butter and chocolate bars and cup cakes....oh how I love her cooking.

Another resolution is to get back into writing my screen play and meeting with my good friend and co-writer on a regular basis. Hopefully with our schedules we can work it out. We have so many good ideas we just have to be more disciplined. We used to meet regularly but didn't get much work done. We have to get back on track. I would love to get a writing team together kind of like the guys who wrote Super Troopers and Beerfest (Broken Lizard). It is just hard to get people interested. We shall see.

I think that are all my resolutions now it is time to see what else will come of the new year. I shall purchase a kilt this year. My dad has made me his assistant commissioner of the Clan Scott Society, no it's not that kinda clan get your mind out of the gutter. I have always wanted a kilt and I think I will finally get one this year. I did wear one at my wedding and I did look rather dapper in it although i was like 40 or a 100lbs lighter back then.

Speaking of weddings wow my 5th year anniversary is coming up this year, you like that segway don't you. My wife wants another ring to match the one she has which has like 5 diamonds in it and I really want to get her one of those. I have asked for a PS3 my wife thinks this is a ridiculous thing to ask for for an anniversary gift, but when asked what she thought was a more suitable option she couldn't think of anything better. What do you think? I think it would be awesome.

In 2009, we will have our first African American president of the United States. wow. This country really has come a long way. I didn't vote for the man and am still not sold on the Idea of Obama in the office but I will support him for now. I will not wait and see if he makes mistakes but this year may be the first year that I actually watch those presidential addresses. I hated W. and really have no preconceived notions on our next president so this presidency is his chance to gain my respect even though he really doesn't need it.

Baseball looks very promising to me this year with my favorite team spending so much money for the 3 top picks in free agency. I am skeptical though. The only person that we received so far through free agency that I actually wanted on my team was Mark Teixiera. But we did need starting pitching. I also think the Yankees should forget about Andy Petitte(who has been a great Yankee). He doesn't' want to take a pay cut for the benefit of the team and where he would probably have the best chance to play for a world series title. If the Yankees and he can't reach an agreement soon I think the Yankees should go after Derek Lowe or trade for another Starter or at least go after Ben Sheets. But I really want to see Lowe in pinstripes next year. Please don't let him go to the Met's.

Their are lots of movies coming out this year. Here are my top 10 movies to see in 2009 up until July 1st. These are not in any particular order and who knows I may not even see all of these in the theaters. Paul Blart: Mall Cop, you just gotta love Kevin James let's just hope this is better than Hitch. Underworld 3: Rise of the Lichens, this movie is supposed to be a prequel and the 2 previous movies were Fucking incredible hopefully it will live up to it's predecessors. Fan Boys, I have heard about this movie for like 4 years already, I hope it doesn't disappoint. Friday the 13th, oh yeah another Jason Movie, What is that #11 or wait he was in Freddy Vs. Jason also, but should be good they are redoing the original it worked wonders when they did this with Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Fast and Furious, wow can you believe it the 4th installment of this franchise but Vin Diesel is back and so is Paul Walker should be good(Hopefully). X-Men Origins: Wolverine I don't need to say anything else. Star Trek is also the original revisited. I just hope the character playing James T. Kirk does it as well as William Shattner. Kirk is the coolest of all the captains because of Shattner. Angels and Demons should be better than the Davinci Code, well that's how the books worked out anyways. Terminator Salvation, This franchise has not disappointed one bit not even with the TV series. This should not be bad especially with Christian Bale as John Conner. Last but not least Transformers 2 I hope it's as good as its predecessor.

My son turns 2 this year and I am taking him to his first Yankees Game. Don't worry Redsox Nation I will allow him to choose his favorite team when he is older but I won't make it easy for you guys.

Well it is about 4am and I am getting tired I'm sure more stuff will happen in 2009 but I don't want to think anymore. My only advice is live life, look for the positives, and have fun.

Handy Many

Now, some people say that I may be reaching for this one, or trying to put something there that really isn't there. I know, I know you're probably just thinking come on Ben get on with it. Well, here it is, I believe that Handy Manny is geared more for adults and has some racial stereotyping in it. Now I will explain my self and then you can decide whether I am correct or if I am putting my own thoughts and feelings into the show. But remember adult content has always been hidden in stuff made for kids. Here are some examples from the past. The origional "Scooby-Doo" Come on Scoobie snacks. And Scoob and Shaggy always had the munchies and many more in that one. What about the Telle Tubbies where people said one of them was gay because he had an upside down triangle on his head. These are just to name a few.

Now Handy Manny....First of all it is based on a hispanic guy named Manny. He is a Handy Man who really doesn't get paid all that well. He has a neighbor who is a proud white guy who doesn't want to accept help from Manny(Maybe because Manny is Hispanic?) Manny is friends with a woman who runs a Hardware Store her name is Kelly. It is just funny how Kelly always has just what Manny needs! Oh and Kelly gets mad when Manny doesn't show up to stuff and she goes out and has to find him. This one time Manny was helping another young woman, I don't remember her name but she landed in Manny's town in a hot air balloon, Manny was "helping" this woman when Kelly happened to drive bye. Kelly stopped and said, "Hey what's going on here?" Manny seemed to stumble with what he told her almost as if he had a guilty conscience or something. There is more than meets the eye with these two. Is Kelly a stalker or does Manny give it to her on the side and she just can't get enough.

Now, there are other stereotypes on the show but this is a big one. The basketball coach is a black man. Why's he gotta be black. I wanna know why Manny never really get's paid. This show is great. I think more people should watch it. If you try it out make sure you got a kid around so people can't make fun of you. Well I haven't written in a while and this is my first entry of the new year. Hope you enjoyed it.