A funny thing happened today. I went to church and received the message. I think. I know it was just last week that I said that I was unsure of my status with the BIG GUY, but I think that I go the message. Now in church I think I catch A.D.D. or A.D.H.D. (totally not making fun of the disorders) because I can't pay attention for the life of me. Where as if you throw a movie in the DVD player and I am focused as focused can be. In church today it was more of the same, me not really focusing but what I did catch was amazing.
I will paraphrase the sermon (again I wasn't paying close attention). People are always looking for the next thing. What are they gonna do next, what are they gonna get next, what happens next. For example, when I look at my DVD collection I think what movie do I want to purchase next. What movie don't I have. When can I get my next movie. Now I think this was the part of the sermon that got me. People should focus on the things they already have and enjoy them. If new things come their way then fine and dandy. But don't covet the things that others have. I should look to enjoy the movies that I have and not focus on what I don't have. I still can enjoy the movies that I have.
So I am going to try and enjoy the things that I have instead of looking for the next big thing. If that next big thing happens to find me well then I will take it in stride and try not to lose sight of the things I had before that big thing came along. This is all I have to say not sure I made sense but this is what I got and it brought a smile to my face.
This just isn't a church thing this is an every day thing, it just happens that I got the message at church. My goal for church next week is to pay closer attention. Please help me lord.
Sunday, November 23, 2008
Thursday, November 20, 2008
A Fart Can Save Lives
Let me tell you a story! It's a story of how a fart saved a young man's life! Let's call him Bobby. Bobby was probably a junior in high school and he and his friends had just made friends with this girl who lived in the neighbor hood. Let's call her Tara. Tara was so cool. She was like one of the guys.
During the time that they all hung out, the boys in the group began to like Tara as more than just friends. Even Bobby had grown to fancy her. She wasn't the prettiest girl but she wasn't the ugliest girl either. She was smart and funny and again she could hang with the best of em. The best thing about this girl was that she liked to hang out with all of the guys.
Well one day all of the friends were over Bobby's house and watching TV. Bobby's dad was also there. On this day how ever Tara was sitting very close to Bobby and on the other side of Bobby was his dad. The problem was that Bobby was getting a bit to comfortable around Tara. Bobby was almost getting up enough nerve to ask Tara out. But something happened where Tara's mind was totally turned off to the thought of dating Bobby. And it happened on this same day while the friends and Bobby's dad was watching TV.
Bobby not only got comfortable around Tara he was getting comfy a little too comfy sitting next to Tara. He was in his house and he was watching his TV, around his friends. Remember, Tara was like one of the guys.
Well, Bobby lifted his leg, the one closest to Tara, and let out a huge, loud smelly fart. Once it had escaped Bobby was mortified and had lost all hope of ever getting chance to be Tara's boyfriend. Tara was grossed out and moved her seat. Bobby was trying to apologize but his father was saying, "Oh real nice Bobby, real classy, your a pig!" Bobby was so embarrassed all he could say was sorry and left it at that. All his chances with Tara were gone.
A few weeks later Tara ended up becoming one of Bobby's friend Jason's, girlfriend. But, Tara began to change once she was Jason's girlfriend. Jason couldn't hang out with his friends anymore and Tara wanted nothing to do with the group anymore. Tara began getting uglier. Just because she was such a nag to Jason. Jason's life became shittier and shittier. He was losing his friends and was miserable in his relationship. It was like he was dieing.
So the embarrassing moment when Bobby Farted and totally turned off Tara to Bobby actually saved his life. After a while, Bobby took that Fart as an omen of what would have been it was a sign and all of his friends should have seen it when it happened unfortunately for Jason he missed the sign.
This is based on a true story. Names have been changed to protect the innocent. Some parts of the story have been exaggerated to make it a better story. Just remember sometimes a fart can save your life.
During the time that they all hung out, the boys in the group began to like Tara as more than just friends. Even Bobby had grown to fancy her. She wasn't the prettiest girl but she wasn't the ugliest girl either. She was smart and funny and again she could hang with the best of em. The best thing about this girl was that she liked to hang out with all of the guys.
Well one day all of the friends were over Bobby's house and watching TV. Bobby's dad was also there. On this day how ever Tara was sitting very close to Bobby and on the other side of Bobby was his dad. The problem was that Bobby was getting a bit to comfortable around Tara. Bobby was almost getting up enough nerve to ask Tara out. But something happened where Tara's mind was totally turned off to the thought of dating Bobby. And it happened on this same day while the friends and Bobby's dad was watching TV.
Bobby not only got comfortable around Tara he was getting comfy a little too comfy sitting next to Tara. He was in his house and he was watching his TV, around his friends. Remember, Tara was like one of the guys.
Well, Bobby lifted his leg, the one closest to Tara, and let out a huge, loud smelly fart. Once it had escaped Bobby was mortified and had lost all hope of ever getting chance to be Tara's boyfriend. Tara was grossed out and moved her seat. Bobby was trying to apologize but his father was saying, "Oh real nice Bobby, real classy, your a pig!" Bobby was so embarrassed all he could say was sorry and left it at that. All his chances with Tara were gone.
A few weeks later Tara ended up becoming one of Bobby's friend Jason's, girlfriend. But, Tara began to change once she was Jason's girlfriend. Jason couldn't hang out with his friends anymore and Tara wanted nothing to do with the group anymore. Tara began getting uglier. Just because she was such a nag to Jason. Jason's life became shittier and shittier. He was losing his friends and was miserable in his relationship. It was like he was dieing.
So the embarrassing moment when Bobby Farted and totally turned off Tara to Bobby actually saved his life. After a while, Bobby took that Fart as an omen of what would have been it was a sign and all of his friends should have seen it when it happened unfortunately for Jason he missed the sign.
This is based on a true story. Names have been changed to protect the innocent. Some parts of the story have been exaggerated to make it a better story. Just remember sometimes a fart can save your life.
Friday, November 14, 2008
Summer Camp the movie Entry #2
Campers walk in and sit around a camp fire. It is midway through the day. Toast is sitting in his lawnchair trying to think of something to do with the campers in front of him. Toast is the camp crafts specialist. Don't ever confuse Camp Crafts with Arts and Crafts when Toast is around, it's for your own good. All of a sudden two CIT's(counselors in training) run up to Toast and begin whispering in his ear. Toast's face immediately brightens as the CIT finishes speaking into his ear.
Toast in his best Steve Irwin voice states, "Hello, mates" The children laugh at the funny accent. "Who wants to go on a Safari walk to see some of the most dangerous animals this side of camp."
The children cheer and yell "me me" as they raise their hands.
Toast with his ripped and stained staff shirt stands up stretches with his hands over his head and then scratches himself below the belt says, "All righty mates. Follow me."
With the children in tow behind him Toast begins to walk into the woods on a path just off of his camp site. As toast walks down the path he goes from one side of the path to the other jumping and rolling around and even low crawling through bushes. The children all giggle at his movements. Toast Stops and motions for the group to be quite. He has reached the site of the most dangerous animals. He peers through a bush and motions for everyone to slowly and quietly come up to the bush and pick their spot.
As the children move up to the bush one of them steps on a twig and a loud crack is heard. Toast moves to that child shushes him and says whispering to the child, "Croikee, we have to be very quiet there laddy," and then russles the childs hair. All the children peek through the bushes to see the craziest site they have ever seen.
On the other side of the bushes is a section of camp called the Slendors. The slendors are the fat campers. It is now feeding time. All the children can see is that the Fat campers are in a feeding frenzy. They are eating twinkies and swiss roles. the Slendors counselors are taring apart a full chicken. The scene is one that would compare to a pride of lions feasting on a pack of gazelles just taring their meals apart. With some, very little, but some food flying through the air with other campers snatching the flying peices right out of the air. It is one of the most grotesque sights any living human has ever seen.
Just then one of the campers with Toast steps on another twig. All of the slendors (Fat Campers) stop what they are doing and look around as if someone is going to take their food away from them. The female slendors camp counselor goes to bite the chicken leg in the male slendors camp counselors hand and the male camp counsleor bites her arm and snorts and snarls the female counselor backs off whimpering and the feeding frenzie begins again.
Toast and all the campers with him run away laughing and jumping up and down.
Toast in his best Steve Irwin voice states, "Hello, mates" The children laugh at the funny accent. "Who wants to go on a Safari walk to see some of the most dangerous animals this side of camp."
The children cheer and yell "me me" as they raise their hands.
Toast with his ripped and stained staff shirt stands up stretches with his hands over his head and then scratches himself below the belt says, "All righty mates. Follow me."
With the children in tow behind him Toast begins to walk into the woods on a path just off of his camp site. As toast walks down the path he goes from one side of the path to the other jumping and rolling around and even low crawling through bushes. The children all giggle at his movements. Toast Stops and motions for the group to be quite. He has reached the site of the most dangerous animals. He peers through a bush and motions for everyone to slowly and quietly come up to the bush and pick their spot.
As the children move up to the bush one of them steps on a twig and a loud crack is heard. Toast moves to that child shushes him and says whispering to the child, "Croikee, we have to be very quiet there laddy," and then russles the childs hair. All the children peek through the bushes to see the craziest site they have ever seen.
On the other side of the bushes is a section of camp called the Slendors. The slendors are the fat campers. It is now feeding time. All the children can see is that the Fat campers are in a feeding frenzy. They are eating twinkies and swiss roles. the Slendors counselors are taring apart a full chicken. The scene is one that would compare to a pride of lions feasting on a pack of gazelles just taring their meals apart. With some, very little, but some food flying through the air with other campers snatching the flying peices right out of the air. It is one of the most grotesque sights any living human has ever seen.
Just then one of the campers with Toast steps on another twig. All of the slendors (Fat Campers) stop what they are doing and look around as if someone is going to take their food away from them. The female slendors camp counselor goes to bite the chicken leg in the male slendors camp counselors hand and the male camp counsleor bites her arm and snorts and snarls the female counselor backs off whimpering and the feeding frenzie begins again.
Toast and all the campers with him run away laughing and jumping up and down.
Monday, November 10, 2008
Here comes a Deep Entry!
No, this has nothing to do with anything of the sexual nature. Get your minds out of the gutter. The "Deep" subject that I am referring to is religion. Now, since I was in high school I have considered myself a born again christian. I know what you all are thinking this guy is a bible beater or something. Well, if you have read my blog at all you know that that just isn't true. Right now I consider myself a non-practicing christian. What most Christians might call someone who has fallen away from the lord. I do believe that Jesus Christ died for my sins so that I can be in heaven when I die.
Recently, I have found myself, not questioning God but actually not really thinking about God at all. God is absent from my life. Which is really bad. The good thing is I know it's bad. I find myself just not thinking about God. Today, I went to church with my wife and my son and my mother in-law. I could not pay attention and have know idea what the sermon was even about. I'm not really sure what this all means. I think most Christians would say that the Devil is distracting me. Which is probably true. I just don't know how I feel right now.
I think I know when and how I first became distant from the lord and how I feel right now. It started around the time I came home from basic training. A person high up in the church told their child not to hang out with me because I wasn't the right person to be hanging around with. At the time I was a following the christian way to the best of my ability. The best being that of an 19 year old kid who had just discovered drinking. Now, that may sound bad me being a christian and all but the other kids in my youth group were drinking before I was. So we all were in the same boat. Now a person who is higher up in the church should have had myself and the other Christians hanging out to strengthen my relationship with God through fellowship between fellow Christians.
It got worse for me and God a while later. When I was getting married I got back with God to the point where I was back in a church and I was even co-facilitating a youth group for the church. It was a good time for me and God. But again we had a falling out or not so much me and God but I started to lose faith in the people who are supposed to be God loving people. First off the pastor of a this new church lied to me and my wife. It was okay we really liked the guy and as we all know nobodies perfect and we are all sinners. He actually was the secondary reason we were going to church. He was a good speaker and got the lord's message out in a captivating way. The churches governing body was not happy with the pastor but I think the overall majority of the parishioners enjoyed and learned from his sermons. I even gave a sermon talking about how God wanted us to work through the tough patches we were having as a church. For us to communicate and work towards God's goals and not the goals of our hearts. You see the pastor wanted to get the word of God out to more people to build our church family, while the governing body of the church wanted to stay the same. The way I saw it was that God wants more people to follow him and become saved by his son Jesus Christ. A short while later the governing body of the church had the pastor removed and myself, my wife and a few other members of the church left the church.
Since that time, I have been searching for a new church. Not with my whole heart behind the idea but searching none the less. Some may say I am also searching for God to be back into my heart. I must admit there are days like this one that I feel that I want to make a sincere effort to get back with God and then there are many more days where I don't even think about the lord. I know deep down I want to continue my relationship with God but I'm just not sure when the right time is or if I will ever be ready to be right with God.
As for now I have to try and be the best person I can be and try to live by the values I used to follow with much passion. I know I am far away from where I was but the Lord works in mysterious ways and I know somehow someway I will find my way back to him and he will pry himself back into my heart. When this will be only God knows and I know I will probably hit rock bottom before it happens because that's usually what happens.
I hope I didn't depress anyone but I had to get these things off my chest and this is what this damn blog is for anyways. To get things off my mind.
Recently, I have found myself, not questioning God but actually not really thinking about God at all. God is absent from my life. Which is really bad. The good thing is I know it's bad. I find myself just not thinking about God. Today, I went to church with my wife and my son and my mother in-law. I could not pay attention and have know idea what the sermon was even about. I'm not really sure what this all means. I think most Christians would say that the Devil is distracting me. Which is probably true. I just don't know how I feel right now.
I think I know when and how I first became distant from the lord and how I feel right now. It started around the time I came home from basic training. A person high up in the church told their child not to hang out with me because I wasn't the right person to be hanging around with. At the time I was a following the christian way to the best of my ability. The best being that of an 19 year old kid who had just discovered drinking. Now, that may sound bad me being a christian and all but the other kids in my youth group were drinking before I was. So we all were in the same boat. Now a person who is higher up in the church should have had myself and the other Christians hanging out to strengthen my relationship with God through fellowship between fellow Christians.
It got worse for me and God a while later. When I was getting married I got back with God to the point where I was back in a church and I was even co-facilitating a youth group for the church. It was a good time for me and God. But again we had a falling out or not so much me and God but I started to lose faith in the people who are supposed to be God loving people. First off the pastor of a this new church lied to me and my wife. It was okay we really liked the guy and as we all know nobodies perfect and we are all sinners. He actually was the secondary reason we were going to church. He was a good speaker and got the lord's message out in a captivating way. The churches governing body was not happy with the pastor but I think the overall majority of the parishioners enjoyed and learned from his sermons. I even gave a sermon talking about how God wanted us to work through the tough patches we were having as a church. For us to communicate and work towards God's goals and not the goals of our hearts. You see the pastor wanted to get the word of God out to more people to build our church family, while the governing body of the church wanted to stay the same. The way I saw it was that God wants more people to follow him and become saved by his son Jesus Christ. A short while later the governing body of the church had the pastor removed and myself, my wife and a few other members of the church left the church.
Since that time, I have been searching for a new church. Not with my whole heart behind the idea but searching none the less. Some may say I am also searching for God to be back into my heart. I must admit there are days like this one that I feel that I want to make a sincere effort to get back with God and then there are many more days where I don't even think about the lord. I know deep down I want to continue my relationship with God but I'm just not sure when the right time is or if I will ever be ready to be right with God.
As for now I have to try and be the best person I can be and try to live by the values I used to follow with much passion. I know I am far away from where I was but the Lord works in mysterious ways and I know somehow someway I will find my way back to him and he will pry himself back into my heart. When this will be only God knows and I know I will probably hit rock bottom before it happens because that's usually what happens.
I hope I didn't depress anyone but I had to get these things off my chest and this is what this damn blog is for anyways. To get things off my mind.
Sunday, November 9, 2008
International Beer Festival!!!!! WooooHoooo!!!!!!
On Saturday, November 8th, 2008, I went to the Providence Convention Center to take part in something "amazazing!" It was the 15th Annual International Beer festival. I was in heaven. The night started off with a few of my friends coming over to play RockBand and drink a couple of beers.
Once we finished rocking out, we hopped in my buddies Mini Van to head out for a night on the town. Man we're getting old, a mini van come on, but it made things easier on us because all 5 of us were able to fit comfortably and only one person had to be the DD. Definitely getting older and more responsible.
The beer festival had a maze of roped off lines, kinda like waiting in line at Disney or Six Flags, but for adults. It took us 45 minutes just to get into the room for the beer festival. We met some friends while there that had planned to come with us and it was a great time. There was all types of beers. The usuals were present Sam Adams, Coors, Miller, but also about 200 other different types. It was my kind of place.
When you walk in the door of this festival they hand you a cup it is about the size of the cup that comes with NyQuil, okay maybe a bit bigger but then there is a line on the cup that says fill to this line. It is located about half way up the cup and is there to tell the vendors only to fill to that high on the cup. If you were nice to the vendors they would fill your cup past the line hehehehe.
Well needless to say about 45mins into me and my friends being at the festival we were cocked. It's kinda like playing power hour. We started to become more assertive, and began cutting in lines and things like that. Oh what fun. I did run into a buddy of mine "Tosti" most of you should know him. I hadn't seen him in a while and in my drunken state he got sappy on me and almost made me cry. I called him an asshole and then gave him a hug. The bastard. HA HA HA. Well as I began hanging with him the band playing at the festival decide to have a dance off. And if you know Tosti you know he was more than up for the challenge. He made funny but disgusting gestures to his opponent and surprisingly had some really good moves. At the end the band never really picked a winner but in my mind Tosti won.
Then I left Tosti, his fiance Coreen, and their friends cause I had to pee (one of the many times). Now the bathrooms were off limits to guys for some reason but the convention center had about 50 portopots for people to use. When I was over there I saw a guy in a Ski Suit and a Santa Hat. Now I'm not talking about the kind of Ski suit that you wear when you go skiing. Big fluffy jacket and pants. this Guy had on the tight speed skiing aerodynamic ski suit and it was like neon blue and weird patterns. Then I witnessed four people go into one portopot. I think they were smoking the wacky tobaccy. But I'm not one to judge.
A lot more crazy shit happened and it was real fun but as all good things happen they have to come to an end. Toward the end of the night I had to stop a friend from getting in a fight. He probably could have kicked the guys ass but I didn't want my friend to get arrested. But the other guy pulled a real dick move.
So the fun ended we headed to a bar so we could sober up. Funny right! Well our DD was fine and he stopped drinking a long time ago and I needed to sober up too so I wouldn't be hung over so I nursed my beer at the bar. It was a great time with friends, music, beer and fun. Good times had by all.
If you ever get a chance to go I highly recommend it.
Once we finished rocking out, we hopped in my buddies Mini Van to head out for a night on the town. Man we're getting old, a mini van come on, but it made things easier on us because all 5 of us were able to fit comfortably and only one person had to be the DD. Definitely getting older and more responsible.
The beer festival had a maze of roped off lines, kinda like waiting in line at Disney or Six Flags, but for adults. It took us 45 minutes just to get into the room for the beer festival. We met some friends while there that had planned to come with us and it was a great time. There was all types of beers. The usuals were present Sam Adams, Coors, Miller, but also about 200 other different types. It was my kind of place.
When you walk in the door of this festival they hand you a cup it is about the size of the cup that comes with NyQuil, okay maybe a bit bigger but then there is a line on the cup that says fill to this line. It is located about half way up the cup and is there to tell the vendors only to fill to that high on the cup. If you were nice to the vendors they would fill your cup past the line hehehehe.
Well needless to say about 45mins into me and my friends being at the festival we were cocked. It's kinda like playing power hour. We started to become more assertive, and began cutting in lines and things like that. Oh what fun. I did run into a buddy of mine "Tosti" most of you should know him. I hadn't seen him in a while and in my drunken state he got sappy on me and almost made me cry. I called him an asshole and then gave him a hug. The bastard. HA HA HA. Well as I began hanging with him the band playing at the festival decide to have a dance off. And if you know Tosti you know he was more than up for the challenge. He made funny but disgusting gestures to his opponent and surprisingly had some really good moves. At the end the band never really picked a winner but in my mind Tosti won.
Then I left Tosti, his fiance Coreen, and their friends cause I had to pee (one of the many times). Now the bathrooms were off limits to guys for some reason but the convention center had about 50 portopots for people to use. When I was over there I saw a guy in a Ski Suit and a Santa Hat. Now I'm not talking about the kind of Ski suit that you wear when you go skiing. Big fluffy jacket and pants. this Guy had on the tight speed skiing aerodynamic ski suit and it was like neon blue and weird patterns. Then I witnessed four people go into one portopot. I think they were smoking the wacky tobaccy. But I'm not one to judge.
A lot more crazy shit happened and it was real fun but as all good things happen they have to come to an end. Toward the end of the night I had to stop a friend from getting in a fight. He probably could have kicked the guys ass but I didn't want my friend to get arrested. But the other guy pulled a real dick move.
So the fun ended we headed to a bar so we could sober up. Funny right! Well our DD was fine and he stopped drinking a long time ago and I needed to sober up too so I wouldn't be hung over so I nursed my beer at the bar. It was a great time with friends, music, beer and fun. Good times had by all.
If you ever get a chance to go I highly recommend it.
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
Obsess much!
Have you ever known anyone who when you talk with them they talk about the same shit every time you see them. I am in that nightmare as I am writing this. For those of you who don't know already I work for the Department of Youth Services. I basically work in a jail for kids. I, historically, have worked on second shift and have worked overtimes on the first and 3rd shifts. Approximately six months ago a guy began working on the overnight who reads a series of books that I also read. These books are called The Forgotten Realms and are very Sci-fi convention fantasy adventure stories. Real nerd stuff.
Now I have no qualms with myself. I am somewhat a nerd. I like star wars and star trek, I play video games, I like comic books (but haven't seriously read one since high school. Yet am considering starting back up again) I watch movies about anything, I like Harry Potter, etc. But I don't get too serious into things like this. You will never find me at a convention for any of the above mentioned geek activities (although I find myself secretly wanting to go to them). This guy found out through the kids at work that I read the same books as him. I had worked a couple of shifts of overtime with this guy and had talked with him briefly about these Forgotten Realms books. In doing so I found out that he is way more into these books than I am.
You see these books have many different authors who write about all kinds of characters and stories which are based on role playing games like Dungeons and Dragons (see more dork stuff). Well, I happen to like one particular author, R. A. Salvatore, the man has written over 20 books for this Forgotten Realms and I have almost read every book by this author in this series. Yet this guy reads almost every book by every author in the series.
Now getting to the issue at hand. This guy began talking to me about these books one night on the overnight and talked to me for three straight hours (as opposed to 3 gay hours) regarding the books that I read and he began to talk to me about all of the other books in this series of books. THREEEEEEEEEEEEEE HOOOOOOOOUUUUUURRRRRRRSSSSSSS! I mean what the FUCK! The man didn't even take a breath. It was an informative discussion and he made me interested in some of the other authors but it was three hours. Did I mention it went on for three hours.
Now, I think of myself as a nice guy, so I listened to the man speak and for the most part I was interested in what he had to say. And when I wasn't interested anymore at least I pretended to be interested. But......the ever dreaded but...... recently I was hurt at work. Don't worry I'm ok. I just sprained my shoulder. But it caused me to have to work on the overnight shift for at least two weeks. I will be working with this man 3 days each week. So far I have worked with him for 2 straight days ( i was gonna use that gay joke again but i don't want to kill it, have I used in a previous blog entry?) each week. So far he has had the same conversation about these books that we had the first time (3 hours long) Both nights! I have even tried to change the subject about something else that I am interested in and he would talk about it for a few minutes and some how he draws me back in to a conversation about these damn books.
Now there are some things that you need to know about this man. He is deaf. He wears 2 hearing aids and when he is not talking about these books and every nuance and intricacy involving the books and the stories. Now also his two hearing aids make some intolerable noises as he speaks to me. It's as if someone has put a microphone near the speaker and this horrible feedback is coming out. It is this annoying hi pitch squealing noise that aggravates the piss out of me. It makes talking about these books that I like so much harder with the guy who could can recite ever story in every book.
I don't know if I can' make it a week never mind a few days. I will try not to hurt anyone. I will sign off for now. knowing that I probably made all of you feel like I'm not a nice guy. But if you think about it I am a nice guy I keep listening for hours on end for this guy to stop talking about the books. It's crazy but somebody has to do the job and somebody has to listen to this guy speak about books.
I mean this guy goes on for hours and focuses on this stuff. He is one of those guys. Some of you know my friend nate he gets obsesive about stuff too but at leat he obsesses on different things from week to week. I guess i am afraid of having this conversation over and over again night after night on the over night.
Well, that's all my complaining for now,
Ben
Now I have no qualms with myself. I am somewhat a nerd. I like star wars and star trek, I play video games, I like comic books (but haven't seriously read one since high school. Yet am considering starting back up again) I watch movies about anything, I like Harry Potter, etc. But I don't get too serious into things like this. You will never find me at a convention for any of the above mentioned geek activities (although I find myself secretly wanting to go to them). This guy found out through the kids at work that I read the same books as him. I had worked a couple of shifts of overtime with this guy and had talked with him briefly about these Forgotten Realms books. In doing so I found out that he is way more into these books than I am.
You see these books have many different authors who write about all kinds of characters and stories which are based on role playing games like Dungeons and Dragons (see more dork stuff). Well, I happen to like one particular author, R. A. Salvatore, the man has written over 20 books for this Forgotten Realms and I have almost read every book by this author in this series. Yet this guy reads almost every book by every author in the series.
Now getting to the issue at hand. This guy began talking to me about these books one night on the overnight and talked to me for three straight hours (as opposed to 3 gay hours) regarding the books that I read and he began to talk to me about all of the other books in this series of books. THREEEEEEEEEEEEEE HOOOOOOOOUUUUUURRRRRRRSSSSSSS! I mean what the FUCK! The man didn't even take a breath. It was an informative discussion and he made me interested in some of the other authors but it was three hours. Did I mention it went on for three hours.
Now, I think of myself as a nice guy, so I listened to the man speak and for the most part I was interested in what he had to say. And when I wasn't interested anymore at least I pretended to be interested. But......the ever dreaded but...... recently I was hurt at work. Don't worry I'm ok. I just sprained my shoulder. But it caused me to have to work on the overnight shift for at least two weeks. I will be working with this man 3 days each week. So far I have worked with him for 2 straight days ( i was gonna use that gay joke again but i don't want to kill it, have I used in a previous blog entry?) each week. So far he has had the same conversation about these books that we had the first time (3 hours long) Both nights! I have even tried to change the subject about something else that I am interested in and he would talk about it for a few minutes and some how he draws me back in to a conversation about these damn books.
Now there are some things that you need to know about this man. He is deaf. He wears 2 hearing aids and when he is not talking about these books and every nuance and intricacy involving the books and the stories. Now also his two hearing aids make some intolerable noises as he speaks to me. It's as if someone has put a microphone near the speaker and this horrible feedback is coming out. It is this annoying hi pitch squealing noise that aggravates the piss out of me. It makes talking about these books that I like so much harder with the guy who could can recite ever story in every book.
I don't know if I can' make it a week never mind a few days. I will try not to hurt anyone. I will sign off for now. knowing that I probably made all of you feel like I'm not a nice guy. But if you think about it I am a nice guy I keep listening for hours on end for this guy to stop talking about the books. It's crazy but somebody has to do the job and somebody has to listen to this guy speak about books.
I mean this guy goes on for hours and focuses on this stuff. He is one of those guys. Some of you know my friend nate he gets obsesive about stuff too but at leat he obsesses on different things from week to week. I guess i am afraid of having this conversation over and over again night after night on the over night.
Well, that's all my complaining for now,
Ben
Saturday, November 1, 2008
Dudity Revisited
Now as some of my loyal readers know I have recently joined facebook, which I am absolutely addicted to. Since joining facebook I have joined a couple of groups on facebook, the most recent one is called Man Law. So far there is no manlaw about blogging so I am safe with this stuff for now. The second thing that there is no manlaw for is Dudity in movies. I mean how should men handle this. For me dudity is disgusting but since my last entry I have found myself (still disgusted at dudity but....) laughing and understanding the comedic value of dudity in some movies.
If cock and balls and man ass is in a movie that is fucking hilarious than is it ok if it grosses you out but makes you laugh at the same time? This is my new dilemma. As more and more comedies come out, I have found that every movie is looking to out do all of it's predecessors. And in doing so some of these movies have turned to using more and more dudity.
Now I have to revisit my feelings on dudity because of two recently released movies. About a month ago the movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall was released on DVD. Funny movie. Another hit for Apatow productions(the guys who brought you Anchorman, 40 year old virgin, and Freaks and Geeks, just to name a few). In this movie you see quite a bit of man meat. Now, I was utterly disgusted by the sight of a mans genitalia, the way in which it was shown was fucking hilarious. A girl was breaking up with her boyfriend for six years and he was completely in the dude(nude). As the girl pleaded for the man to put some clothing on and break up with said man. The camera kept flashing the mans hog. It was I think to show how the girl was seeing it and how uncomfortable it made her. I found myself very uncomfortable but also found myself laughing hysterically.
The next movie that I found dudity funny was in a Kevin Smith flick that was just released yesterday called Zack and Miri Make a Porno. Fucking great movie. Kevin smith is a God among movie makers. But he also chose to use dudity in a funny way. At the end of the movie Zack runs into his old apartment to tell his ex roommate Miri that he loves her and as he tries out walks Jason Mewes completely dude(nude) cock and balls swinging. As the camera follows Mewes to the refrigerator you see him bend down to get something out of the old icebox and you see him from behind with his twig and berries dangling in the breeze. It was fucking gross but I couldn't help but laugh my ass off.
Now is dudity ok if it makes you laugh. My gut says no fucking way. But as an aspiring movie writer....Maybe...the jury is not in on that one yet. We'll see... when I have an answer you will have an answer.
Ben
If cock and balls and man ass is in a movie that is fucking hilarious than is it ok if it grosses you out but makes you laugh at the same time? This is my new dilemma. As more and more comedies come out, I have found that every movie is looking to out do all of it's predecessors. And in doing so some of these movies have turned to using more and more dudity.
Now I have to revisit my feelings on dudity because of two recently released movies. About a month ago the movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall was released on DVD. Funny movie. Another hit for Apatow productions(the guys who brought you Anchorman, 40 year old virgin, and Freaks and Geeks, just to name a few). In this movie you see quite a bit of man meat. Now, I was utterly disgusted by the sight of a mans genitalia, the way in which it was shown was fucking hilarious. A girl was breaking up with her boyfriend for six years and he was completely in the dude(nude). As the girl pleaded for the man to put some clothing on and break up with said man. The camera kept flashing the mans hog. It was I think to show how the girl was seeing it and how uncomfortable it made her. I found myself very uncomfortable but also found myself laughing hysterically.
The next movie that I found dudity funny was in a Kevin Smith flick that was just released yesterday called Zack and Miri Make a Porno. Fucking great movie. Kevin smith is a God among movie makers. But he also chose to use dudity in a funny way. At the end of the movie Zack runs into his old apartment to tell his ex roommate Miri that he loves her and as he tries out walks Jason Mewes completely dude(nude) cock and balls swinging. As the camera follows Mewes to the refrigerator you see him bend down to get something out of the old icebox and you see him from behind with his twig and berries dangling in the breeze. It was fucking gross but I couldn't help but laugh my ass off.
Now is dudity ok if it makes you laugh. My gut says no fucking way. But as an aspiring movie writer....Maybe...the jury is not in on that one yet. We'll see... when I have an answer you will have an answer.
Ben
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