A whole new way to eat breakfast!

I have invented the greatest thing in the breakfast world! The Cheeseburger Omelet. Now at first thought it might sound disgusting, but all other meats get put into omelets why not beef. I was at home with my son. We were both hungry so I ventured into the refrigerator. I found some ground beef that was already prepared. Then I looked to the door and saw eggs. Then I thought what's an omelet without cheese. Wallah! Cheeseburger Omelet. It was one of the most amazazing things that I have ever tasted.

My next step is to create the Newest trend that will be bigger than the Cheeseburger Omelet. The Bacon Cheeseburger Omelet.

Now my wife hates when I start to create foods in the kitchen. She thinks everything I make is disgusting but she never tries it. All I do when I create foods is put together things that I like when they are separate and put them together. But this approach can be dangerous. Don't try to combine Twinkies and Buffalo chicken fingers not a good mix. Ah Just kidding I never tried that but that just wouldn't be a good thing.

Please return to find out my newest recipe.

What's with the Loofah Sponge?

So for about a decade or maybe even two, I'm not really even sure, there has been non-male item in the bathroom among many non-male items in the bathroom, called the Loofah sponge women have been exfoliating there skin or some kinda shit with it for as long as it has been around. Men have always been intrigued with this loofah thing that hands like a wet doily in the shower. It's usually frilly looking and very unmasculine (like a doily). But men have pondered over this object for years now.

I mean what can the loofah do that a wash cloth can't? Can any women explain that to me? I mean most men that I have poled about the subject might not even use a wash clothe, they just use straight soap on their bodies. Now I know some men who are curious have said that they have tried using the loofah without telling any one since the beginning of the loofah sponge, because they were embarrassed that they were using something so dainty and pink(or some other feminine color). Some men, in just recent years have started using the loofah on a regular basis only if there significant others buy them a masculine colored loofah which mainly only come in baby blue as the most masculine color. Until now....

The marketing geniuses at the axe body spray company came up with a way to sell more loofahs to men. They created a line of shower gels/body washes to sell to men. Again why do we need these things when we have straight soap like Irish Spring or Lever 2000 for all those 2000 parts. Yet there was still a problem the damn colors of damn loofahs were still feminine in nature. So I believe these marketing geniuses started to watch old reruns of Home Improvement or the hired Tim The Tool Man Taylor to help the new and improved loofah for men. It is mostly black with some red in it. Very manly! AAAAR AAAR AARRRHHHHH. But they didn't stop there. NOOOAAARGGHH! Now the put in this useless black rubber to hold the loofah which looks like a 4x4 tire. Manly i think so. AAAAR AAARR AAAARRRRGGGGHHHH. But they were still not done. The added a different feeling cleaning surface to the other side of that rubber part and said it is rougher feeling than the loofah part so that it can get that really manly dirty areas especially clean.

Well let me tell you something. THEY GOT ME I'M HOOKED! I fell for the manly stuff and damn does that new man loofah look cool in my shower it hangs right near my baby blue one. I still don't really get what the loofah does so special but it sure feels nice on those hard to reach places. Just kidding! or am I?

Summer Camp Story part 1

A phone is ringing. The room housing the phone is pitch black except for the red blinking light of the answering machine, which is attached to the phone. The answering machine picks up and states to the pitch black room and the person who is calling, "You've reached Sean, I can't come to the phone right now cause I'm taking a shit!" Then the voice on the answering machine belches and then a series of annoying beeps blair out into the dark room. The caller states, "Nice Sean, real nice, It's Dad calling to remind you that you and Mike are supposed to help me out at the camp today...see you when you get here." A click. The room is once again quiet. Suddenly a chrunching noise begins ever so softly. A female voice asks, "what the fuck is that noise," The light comes on in the room. A man is standing beside a bed eating a bowl of cereal. There are 3 people in the bed two females and one man. As soon as the light comes on the man eating the cereal states, "It's my captain crunch!" the Two women sit up in the bed and scream. They are topless. the man in the middle has a hand over his eyes, the two women bolt from the room and scream obscenities as they leave. The man left in bed states, " nice mike, nice did you have to do that again?" the two men end up laughing at the situation.

Movie Review "Feast 2"

Now I am a huge fan of the movie "Feast" so of course I was skeptical when I found out that a sequel was made. Most sequels never live up to the original. With few exceptions. In the horror genre it is almost unheard of that the sequels even come close. Although lately some newer sequels do hold up. In my opinion the SAW sequels so far have lived up to the hype. Hostel II in my opinion was far superior a movie than the first one(except for the uncalled for dudity). But I loved "Feast." For those of you who have not seen the movie it was a Project Green Light production which I whole heartedly believe in anyways.

I digress. "Feast 2" what can I say about the movie. The original was fucked up and I had no idea what they could do to top it so needless to say I was not expecting much. After watching the movie I really can't do justice by explaining it but I am going to try. The first movie takes place in a bar setting and the patrons of the unnamed bar are trying to survive an attack by what is thought to be an alien force or a military experiment gone bad. They don't really explain what the creatures are that are attacking the bar. Some stars in the movie are actors such as Judah Freidlander of 30 rock, Eric Dane of Grey's Anatomy(McSteamy)(I know it's gay that I know that), Baltezar Ghetti, Henry Rollins, and of course the legendary Jason Mewes. The Aliens are this violent, vicious, and seemingly sex crazed beasts with razor sharp claws and teeth and have the ability to reproduce almost with Polaroid like speed. At the end of the movie I believe 3 survivors are left standing and they drive away. You must see this movie before you see the sequel. If you think the first movie is fucked and are disgusted by it don't see the second film but if you loved it like me see the sequel.

Now in the beginning of "Feast 2"it starts off with you seeing the car driving away from the first movie but you never see what happens to the survivors of the first movie or so you think. Two survivors that you thought were dead are in the original movie. The writers also bring in some great new characters to the film, and Judah Freidlander makes an appearance as well in a weird dream sequence. The new cast of characters include a Mexican Midget Tag Team wrestling duo(which is funny in it's own right), a hobo a car salesmen whose wife is cheating on him, his cheating wife and her lover are also in the movie. The movie is so much more over the top than the first one. With some disturbing visual images ( this movie is not recomended for the faint of heart or young children) the filmakers make you laugh, gasp and want to vomit all at the same time.

I'm not sure how I really feel. I don't know if I like the movie or if I am still in shock by the attroshesness of the movie that is called "Feast 2: Sloppy Seconds" I will have to see it again. What makes me wonder is that the team that has brought you these two lovely movies is at it again with the 3rd installment of this franchise. The next movie is called, "Feast 3: The Happy Finish" I don't know how they can top what they already have but I know that I will definitely be watching it at some point.

Well that is my movie review and the latest blog by yours truly

Ben