Revalation

What the fuck is wrong with me? I just have to laugh. In a previous entry I posed the question, "Older or Gayer?" Now from all of the 3 people who read this rag of a blog, I received comments like your definitely not Gayer. I am guessing that for one to be gayer one would have to be gay in the first place. Which thankfully I am definitely not! "Not that there's anything wrong with that," as the Seinfeld characters have said. Yet, I have to regret to inform you that there is definitely something wrong with me.

First things first: I started this blog. It's kind of a journal. Now I may be stereotyping a bit but in my experience journals are mainly for girls. I know their are exceptions and this isn't your typical journal but...I digress. Secondly, that previous entry was written because I found myself enjoying the Stephanie Meyers books Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse, and Breaking Dawn. Which are primarily enjoyed by you guessed it girls. Primarily 12-16 yr old girls. Thirdly, I have found myself getting more emotional while watching TV shows and movies which men do not do. Who does this? You guessed it females.

Now what brought this on was the fact that my wife got me interested into a TV Show called Grey's Anatomy. Those of you who read this may have seen the show or at least know about it. I am so hooked on this show I have also become hooked on it's spin off called Private Practice. I found myself feeling for these fictional characters on the television and as some, not a lot, but some tears came from my tear ducts, I asked myself what the fuck is wrong with you Ben? Well, I am not sure.

Now what's really funny is that I have been talking about the book series with some of the women at work and I found myself getting excited to read the next book which is due to come out in the near future and debating about whether or not to buy the movie twilight or just rent it. What is wrong with me? Now, there is a good side to this. A guy at work started to read the series as well. He took the book home and has finished the first book as well as his father. I think they are hooked also and he said it was a good book. This guy was in the military and it makes me feel better to know that their are men out there like me, who like these books.

Now as far as the tv shows. I haven't found men who like it and frankly I don't really talk about them with any of my friends. I literally feel a bit embarrassed to say I like them. But as I said, They get to me, they make me feel for the characters even the ones that are bit one week characters. Now, like I said my wife got me hooked and sorry honey but I started watching because I think that most of the women on the show are beautiful in their own way....except for Meredith Grey...she is just not appealing to me in any way. But now I am vested in all of the doctor's lives. I guess that's why those tv writers are making all the freaking money and I'm writing this silly blog for nothing. Well maybe it's for my own piece of mind.

I'm glad I have March madness write now to keep my male emotions going high. Watching basketball is a manly thing to do. I also can't wait for baseball to be in full swing. Excuse me for a second.... I think my ADD is kicking in....why the fuck is A-Rod kissing himself in the mirror....Oh well back to me. All this bitching has been fun but I have come up with a theory for my sudden burst of sensitivity...and no my sexual preference has not changed. I believe that I have always been more sensitive in then most men. I have always been one to help out people with their feelings or issues that they may have with either some words of encouragement or otherwise but my theory is this, I think it this sudden burst of sensitivity, the crying at the drop of a scalpel on Grey's Anatomy or some other crazy thing, is all due to my wonderful son being born.

When I was in the delivery room I wasn't sure if I wanted to actually see my son being born. But the nurse had me hold my wife's leg during the process and I couldn't look away. I mean some parts were scarring to me and my wife but to watch my strong beautiful wife give birth the way that she wanted and to have my son come out was a emotionally traumatic experience. But I mean that in a good way. Let me explain, those of you who know me knew I really was thinking that I wanted a girl. But once that little boy came out I was overwhelmed. He was exactly what I always wanted deep down in my heart. I saw him and I cried. Yet they were tears of joy the only day close to me being that happy was getting married. But even that doesn't compare to seeing a life be created by me and my wife that was a part of the second happiest day of my life. I'm not sure if that last sentence made sense. I hope you get it. If there was a way to ramble through writing I think that's what I am doing now.

The short of it: Two happiest days of my life were: in 2nd place: Getting married. and in 1st place: Having created my son with my wife.

Since that day, when Cody was born has been my emotional downfall as far as man feelings go. Would I change any of it? NOT A FUCKING CHANCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So when I say What the Fuck is Wrong with Me? The answer is not a Fucking thing Asshole.