TOO MUCH "DUDITY"

Since starting this blog, I have received numerous requests for topics to cover. Many requests have been made for me to write about my families little idiosyncrasies, although these topics sound funny, I have to make sure I write about them at the appropriate time. I am not opposed to writing about these issues and will address them soon enough.

Moving on. A topic has been brought to my attention and I feel that it is an issue that needs to be addressed immediately. As the title states, TOO MUCH "DUDITY," the topic is about male nudity in motion pictures. (Wow "motion pictures" I sound like I grew up in the 40's next thing you know I'll call them "talkies!" Well any what the term "Dudity" was told to me second hand it is not my word so I can't take credit for it but I believe a man named Mike Lynch came up with it. I could be wrong so don't take my word on it. But today I am writing about the fact that there is way too much male nudity in movies these days.

In fact any "Dudity" at all is too much. Even when it is small (hah a pun not intended) like in the Bruce Willis Movie "The Color of Night" there is a scene when old Brucie is in the swimming pool and you can catch a glimpse of his member. This movie is just short of a porno anyways I think it premiered on "skinamax" it was just uncalled for nobody needs to see that. Hey Bruce I think the water was a bit cold when you guys were filming that day hungh?

Some times "Dudity" is used for comedic value as in the comedic genius of a film "Borat" what a fucking great movie. As my buddy would say it was "PHENOMENAL" There is a big big drawback to this film. There is like a 4 minute scene where you see two naked men chase each other through a crowded hotel. Now although I found myself laughing hysterically at the scene, I still felt that my mind was violated by vision of a 4oolb man chasing a 180lb man naked through the halls of a hotel. At least the creators of this movie had the decency to black out some of the dirty man parts from the scene thank God for "small" favors!

Another comedic use of "Dudity" was in the movie "Eurotrip" the scene is where the movie gets the male audience excited to see, as well as the characters themselves, the sites of a nude beach. Very promising thought right. As the characters and myself soon found out that most of the people who partake in the right of nudity at nude beaches are people of the male gender hoping to glimpse some naked women. Again it turned out to be a funny scene but I found myself saying, "AWE MAN THAT AIN'T RIGHT!"

Now there is a small movie franchise, you might of heard of it, Hostel. Where the writer Eli Roth listened to his critics. The critics (I'm paraphrasing here) said something to the effect that Mr. Roth had too much female nudity in this movie. My question is who were these critics anyway. The first movie wasn't that great but the best part was the nudity. Sorry honey I'm a guy! Although the second film was a much better movie the amount of "Dudity" in the movie was way uncalled for (as I have stated any "Dudity" is uncalled for). There is even a scene where the male genitalia is removed in a very viscous way. I almost vomited.

Now friends there is plenty of movies where you see a male actor's ass either they are getting out of bed or the shower. It's just not necessary. From what I hear the male body is just not an appealing thing even to women. I mean it may be appealing to women when it is clothed but naked is another story. I mean the penis is not a pretty thing. So why do they show this stuff in movies anyway. I think it's the shock value or they think that maybe women do like the male body like that. I'm not sure all I know is that something must be done about this.

As an aspiring movie writer I assure if I do ever make a movie there may be dick and fart jokes but you will never actually see any "Dudity" I can promise you that.

Ben