Starting two things once again

Attempting to do two things that have eluded me for quite some time. Lose weight and write and complete something substantial (book/movie). I finished writing a children's book. I now need to find an artist for the illustrations. But his is not what I mean by completing a book or movie. As far as the weight loss I am going to try miracle weight loss pills

With exercise.

The movie or book will begin with me training or teaching myself how to write correctly. This may take a while due to the fact that most people go to school for years to learn how to write. 

My inspiration fellow fat man Kevin Smith.  I read "Tough Shit". His life advice book that has sparked something in me. We'll see what happens hopefully I'll stick with both of these things till the bitter end. 

I am hoping that you will be my daily testimonial throughout my trials and tribulations. 

Movie reveiw gone bad!!!

I am watching a terrible movie right now with Dwight from the office. It's called wheelmen. Honestly one of the worst movies ever made. I think shane from weeds is in the movie but very young. It must have been made a while ago. I am telling you this because I have been watching some really bad movies and wanted to share that with you.

These movies are so bad they have no redeeming qualities. I mean I am getting stupider for having watching these films. What's wrong with me. I think its because I have seen too many movies. but there are so many bad movies on demand (for free I'm too cheap to buy the movies....

Honestly trying to write when you have nothing to write about is when shit like this happens. I have some serious writer's block when it comes to this blog. I was writing alot but I want to write about shit that is funny or cool or at least interesting sorry for wasting your time with the movie crap. That movie is really bad though i think I am going to try to find some other crap movie.

Keep your fingers crossed on the fact that I get passed this mountain of a block. Thanks and hope to entertain you soon.

Share with me The Good Stuff Please!

You know something? I think I have a bad case of chronic writer's block. Even though I'm not technically a writer, can I have writer's block. I mean look I'm sitting here writing about my problems on this blog. I have run out of things to write about on this blog. I have even run out of ideas of what to post on my status updates for facebook and twitter. Ha all this social media crap.

I may go long periods of time without updating my statuses or writing in this blog but I think it is because I want what I write to have meaning and substance, kinda like an All the Way New York System Hot Dog or Coney Island dog. What ever! I am only writing about this because a blog is like a journal. Well for me it is anyways. So I'm gonna write about my problems here because I hate it when people post their problems on facebook.

I mean I see a lot of posts about peoples shitty day at work or their messed up medical problems. Who wants to read about that stuff. Post good stuff. Post interesting stuff. I don't really wanna read that your son threw up on you and your daughter pissed on the sofa. Well maybe that's funny for me to read but I hope you get my drift. I just don't want to read that you went to the doctors and your taking 9 billion perscription meds and they still don't know what the fuck is wrong with you. And please don't post that you have laundry to do and dishes. Let me know what your feeling or post something funny that happened to you or let me know about the good things in your life. Don't drag me down with your shit because my life sucks already because I'm on line looking for positive stuff that might be happening to other people.

My life doesn't really suck, but I want to hear or read about the good stuff. Now I know I have been eluded to crappy stuff about my life on these social media sites but I don't get into specifics and I only put it out there to see what peoples opinions are. I would never get into specifics about a situation on facebook or twitter.

As I write this I wonder if it is a cry for help from some people? Is it a way for them to get out there frustrations without having to interact with people face to face? Is it so they can get peoples opinions without actually having to deal with the people? I'm not sure. I think I'm kinda rambling on about this but as I quote Peter Griffen, "it really grinds my gears!"

New Lay Out

I recently changed the look of my blog. It's on fire. I'm hoping the new layout will inspire me to write more on it. I honestly don't do entries just to have entries. I want to write about things that are meaningful or make me laugh or that can give information to people. Now I've said this before but I am going to make an effort to write more.

Now to talk about my layout. It's flames! It's on fire. Is this cool? Do you like it? Do you think it's just my lame way of making this whole blogging thing cool? Be honest.

If this is your first time checking out my blog please feel free to look at my previous posts I think there is some really good shit in there and as always if I offend you in anyway please don't take it personal. I write what I think and swears are what I think. I'm a good person...No really i am. Don't judge me as a person from my blog. I do work with kids and I believe I'm a positive rolemodel. This blog isn't for kids.

the grossest post I've ever done!

I think bathroom humor is some of the funniest stuff in the world. It may be because my sense of humor is very immature and asinine but theirs nothing better than a good fart, fart joke, shit joke or any other bathroom related things that are funny. Honestly, had a buddy who's answering machine said this, "Can't come to the phone right now cause I'm taking a shit!" That was freaking hilarious.

Speaking of bathrooms...I think that when houses or buildings are built that bathrooms are the last things planned for. Seriously, I've have been in some messed up bathrooms before and I will continue to find myself going to the bathroom in many places cause when I gotta go I gotta go. Many of you reading this...listen to me like anybody reads this anymore!...are probably wondering why is he writing about this. Well honestly I have noticed in my bathroom travels that bathrooms are not always well though out.

Like when Carla and I first lived together in N. Attleboro. Our bathroom in our apartment didn't have a sink in it. Luckily, if you wanna look at it that way, the kitchen sink was right outside the door of the bathroom. I think, "Gross!" when I look back on it but you gotta do what you gotta do to survive in this world and this is what this entry is about. Doo Doo! and the places you go doo doo. Plus the space where the toilet was located in that apartment was like a foot and a half wide. After a long session it was hard for a big guy like me to pull himself out of a tight spot like that. Luckily if I built up a sweat the shower was right next to the toilet. Again there was hardly any room for the mirror in this bathroom.

Moving on...I'm pretty satisfied with my current bathroom. So let's talk about public restrooms. I find it funny that some people don't like to go to the bathroom in public. I relish it. I hate to repeat myself but when you gotta go you gotta go. I wonder if there is a way to shorten that statement. in text version it would be this, "when u gg u gg" looks like the sounds I make when on the toilet. I know gross but I ain't holding anything back in 2010 so if you don't like it oh well then. Where was I oh yeah public restrooms. So as I have stated I am a big guy and I don't like the regular stalls for when I gotta go so I defer to the handicap stall. Now some may say that that is an awful thing for me to do but honestly I think Obesity can be a handicap to some. Plus it is way more comfortable in those stalls you can really stretch out.

Plus they have railings and I know they are there to give assistance to a person so they can get in and out of their chairs but for a guy who doesn't not need a chair they make great hand holds for when it's going to be a bumpy ride. Oh man I think I just grossed myself out with that one. But I have one complaint with the handicap stall the toilet paper dispenser is usually under the hand rail and it is way to low for me. I can't imagine a person who is disabled reaching so low for the paper. It sucks and I wanna start a movement but I will save that for another day.

Next topic...Port-O-Johns... I love em when their clean and hate when their dirty like most people. But when "u gg u gg" I was working construction for a year when I was younger and the job site I was working at had only 3 portopots as I call them...and I looked in all three of these things and they were all atrocious. So I chose the lesser of the 3 evils. The one that I chose was clean all around the inside. What was disgusting is where the doodoo and peepee go was filled up so much that the blue water and feces and urine were up to the brim. If I had sat on it without doing anything i probably would have touched frozen shit and piss and whatever the blue water is called with my whole undercarriage. Oh yeah and it was below zero outside so I needed to shit and shit fast cause I was gonna blow and I needed to do something quick. I took the box of seat covers, which was empty, out of it's holder and stuck it into the hole where the bad stuff goes and pushed it down with my foot. Honestly the grossest thing I have ever done. yet if I hadn't done anything and just sat down....well lets just say I did what was best. I still have nightmares.

Well I'm kinda ending this abruptly but I am tired, on an overnight at work and I need to defecate really badly as I type this. I mean I am touching cloth. LMAO!!!! Touching cloth! I think that is the funniest saying. Well I may write more on this subject later we'll see how things COME OUT! Oh man that's just crass. Well bye for now hope you continue reading.

I'm BAAAAAAAAAACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well as the title states, I'm back. Atleast I hope be writing more. The title came to me because it's the night before Halloween. My son is gonna be a knight and a damn cute one at that. I realize that these times are precious and we need to cherrish them. I have recently been connecting with friends from my past and can say it's a wonderful thing. I hope to continue the reconnecting. I know it will be tough to reconnect but I know I have to. I definitely am procrastinating with some people and know I will regret that later on but procrastination should have been my middle name.

This is a short post just to say that I will be back and will try to write more often.

hope you're all still with my my followers. all 4 of you.

Ben

Just a short update.

It's been a while since my last entry...so I'm sorry for the lack of entries...but in all truth that's me...I haven't been moved to write about anything lately...and even now I am just writing this entry because I haven't written in a while. My reasons for not writing lately are 1) Very busy not a lot of time, 2) at work I have less computer time on my everyday shift (we're down a staff member, which makes me work harder damn it), 3) I want to write things with substinance and meaning...ah what am I saying...I just want to write stuff that's funny or interesting, 4) I'd rather not sit infront of a computer when I do have free time.



So I will give an update to my followers of what's been going on since my last entry. Well have had some real fun with my family lately. I now own a kilt. I wore it for the first time and my son wore his kilt for the first time too. It was awesome. I have been to a couple of baseball games already this year. One I watched a preseason baseball game with the dreaded Red Sox and the NY Mets. I also went to see the Yankees beat the Phillies in MLB interleague play. Both of these games were firsts for me. I had never been to preseason game or an interleague game both were awesome. I am also scheduled to take my son (Cody) to his first baseball game ever, the Yankees will be facing the Tigers for this game and we will be going with my Dad who I have never been to a game with him either. I'm not gonna lie, I'm very excited. My wife also got me tickets to see the Yankees vs. the Red Sox for our anniversary can't wait for that one. Maybe we can win that one. Since currently the Red Sox own our ASSES in head to head play!



So far this summer has been filled with other family fun...this weekend was hopefully just the beginning...my dad had a party for my uncle Charlie (he shares a birthday with my son)...it was good to see a lot of my aunts and uncles on my dad's side. I also went to a party at my cousins' house where me and my Dad went undefeated in Horseshoes. I'll be honest we played one game, won that game, and decided not to play again so that we would be undefeated. And then on Sunday it was my son's birthday party that went by in a flash I'm not even sure of what anyone gave to him for his b-day.

I am hoping the rest of the summer is as fun as the past couple of weeks have been.